Delima Kasih

Prosperity Bites

2009-01-18T22:57:00.003+08:00

Christmas 2008

plink: Hello, Santa Claus!

Santa: Ho ho ho! You have been a very good plink all year!

plink: :)

Santa: And what would you like this Christmas?

New Year 2009

plink: Hello, Changing Room Mirror!

mirror: Ho ho ho! You have been a very bad plink this year!

plink: :(

mirror: And what would you like not to wear this New Year?

Hallowe'en 2008 -- plink The Vampire Hunter

2008-11-11T22:29:00.002+08:00

Late one foggy evening, plink and skunkie struggle with the weekly shopping. It is Hallow'een and the skies have long been dark.

plink: Oh I do hope there aren't any vampires about. *Teehee*

skunkie: !!..!.!! *giggle*

plink: Yes, it would be horrible if one was to get us right now. We wouldn't know where to go!

vampire: Ah-har! I am a vampire and I vant your blood!

plink: Ah-har! I am a vampire hunter and you have fallen into our trap! skunkie, quick!

skunkie: *garlic from supermarket*

vampire: Aarrghh!!

skunkie: *WHACK!!*

plink: skunkie! What are you doing?!

skunkie: !!.!!.....!!, !! !! ... !..!!!!. !!.!!!!!!

plink: No, no, no! The old stories say to kill a vampire with a stake through the heart! A STAKE!!

skunkie: ..!!.!!...?

plink: A STEAK is not going to work.

skunkie: !!.!!!

plink: Yes, the vampire does look very annoyed. Run, skunkie. Run quick!

And so, plink and skunkie, like all good children this Hallow'een, learn that vampire-hunting is best left to the experts. And besides, there's always next year. Unless you get eaten first....

Two Wrongs

2008-06-21T23:25:00.006+08:00

plink: Wakakaka....

skunkie: LOLROF *gigglesnort*

plink: Teehee.... Oh try this: #%$&&@!!

skunkie: Kekekeke.... $@&#^!!

plink: OMGROTFLOLSnortHahahaha!!

pMom: plink! skunkie! Where did you learn that kind of language!!?

plink: *point-->skunkie*

skunkie: *point-->plink*

pMom: ....

Later

pDad: Why so glum?

pMom: $%#&*@(...!!!

Speak softly....

2008-06-11T17:10:00.002+08:00

This morning....

plink: Wei.

katjat: *pretend dunno*

plink: Hey! Hel-looo!!!!

katjat: *ignore*

plink: Grr....

Much later....

plink: Psst....

katjat: ?o.O?

plink: Ssstt..!

katjat: O.O

plink: Psst... Psstt.....

katjat: *runrunrunrun*

plink: Psssstt....!

katjat: *ARGHdie*

Wakakakaka.... plink now speaks Baygon and Ridsect. Katjat beware!

New Year Shopplink

2008-03-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

o.o

>.>

<.<

Hmmm....

One of these

This one please

Another one of those would be very nice

That one looks nice

I like the colour of this one

The one I got last year doesn't fit any more

Look at the price! Must buy

^.^

Have New Year, Need New Brain

2008-01-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

plink: *writewritewrite*

skunkie: !!..!!!..!!!!!!..!!!!

plink: o.O? Hei1 Pi2 Niu3 Ya4?!

skunkie: *nodnodnod*

plink: Black Skin Cow Duck?

skunkie: LOLROF!!!!

Happy New Year / Black Skin Cow Duck, everyone!

Santa Claus is . . . .

2007-12-25T20:22:00.000+08:00

Late, late last night....

skunkie: *whackwhackwhack*

plink: skunkie! What are you doing?

skunkie: …!!!!.!....!!!!!!

plink: Kenot! Rudolph’s nose may be green right now, but smacking him will not make it turn red again.

skunkie: !...!!!, !!!!....!!!!!..!!!!

plink: And how is Rudolph going to feel when he is known as Rudolph the orr-chnie* Reindeer?

Next year, I will not be leaving out liulian koay** for Santa....

*orr-chnie: blue-black / bruised
**liulian koay: durian cake and/or candy

Own Medicine

2007-12-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

Earlier, on the set of Ask Dr. Chen....

plink1: Look, Dr. Chen bring durians!

plink2: Yum!

plink3: Very nice. Got D24, potato, red ant....

plink4: Red ant?

plink3: Oops, red prawn....

plink2: Yum!

plink1: skunkie! You from Canada?

skunkie: *nodnodnod*

plink1: Canada got durian?

skunkie: *shakehead*

plink1: Nah, eat durian!

skunkie: *sniffsniff@.@*

Halloween Part Two: The House

2007-10-31T21:44:00.000+08:00

'Hello? Would you like to buy some flowers?'
plink peered through the half-open door into the house. It was dark, so dark that it seemed to spill from the doorway and into the evening outside. She peered into her half-opened purse. It was dark, so dark that she could not see the single coin from her only customer that morning. Selling flowers was hard work, more so during Halloween.
plink pushed open the door. She was just about to set a tiny foot inside the house when a blood-curdling shriek pierced the air.
plink bolted.
Running out into the untamed garden, she hid among the weeds in what had once been a flowerbed. There she waited, wondering who it was that made that sound.
Once more, the house was silent.
Gathering up her courage, the little one tiptoed back into the house. Through the open door, through the darkness inside and into the run-down looking house she went.
'Flowers for you?' plink's question echoed down the unlit hallways. The answer was a shockingly loud groan. plink ran and hid behind a sofa, scattering flowers everywhere.
The hall was silent. For one long moment, nothing moved or made a sound, not even plink. When she finally worked up the courage to look around the sofa, there was nothing to see, nothing to fear.
'Flowers?' plink began again, before remembering that she had no more to sell. Outside, the evening fog rolled in and the house filled quickly with its wet, sickly odour.
Another sharp squeal, long and horrifying, cut through the air. plink felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and her heart start to pound. The sound was frighteningly close. It was in the next room. A light shone from under the door and as plink drew close, the stench grew stronger, the very smell of death.
plink reached out and as she grasped the door handle, one last shriek, fit to wake the dead, made her go weak with fear. She threw the door open and looked full upon the source of all the horror.
It was skunkie, wild-eyed and sawing away at.... a violin.
'skunkie! Why you practice viorin in the middle of the night?!?!?!'

Halloween Part One

2007-10-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

It was late at night, the house was dark. The air was heavy with the threat of storm clouds outside.
A dog howled somewhere in the distance, or was it something else?
Inside the house, a doorway.
A flash of light. It was the lightning.
A flash of something in the mirror. A face suddenly floated out from the darkness behind the mirror.
The face was pale, ghostly, its features only half-seen. Dark eyes ringed with deeper darkness yet, the face stared gloomily out from behind a curtain of disordered dark hair.
And that’s when I knew that I had been working too hard.

Travel inconvenience

2007-09-29T11:23:00.000+08:00

At an airport recently....

[subtitles prease]

plink: Green Lane, Nothing to Declare <------- >_> Red Lane, Goods to Declare

Customs Man: Good morning miss. Please come this way (to the Red Lane).

plink: OK (h£$7!!!!)

CM: Where have you come from today?

plink: Malaysia....

CM: OK. Got anything to declare?

plink: *play dumb* No....
Very serious
CM: Very well, you can... what was that?

plink: What? What?

CM: I saw your bag move!

plink: Dun have lar. I push accidentally wan.

CM: Miss, please open your bag.

plink: Why? Bag cannot simply open wan.

CM: In the name of (some foreign country mya government), I have to search your bag.

plink: Kenot!

CM: Dunpraypray me arh! Very serious wan. What is inside your bag?

plink: O.O" err... clothes, presents....

CM: Animals?

plink: Dun have! *cross fingers behind back*

CM: I don't believe. *open bag*

skunkie: *hugmuakz*

CM: *pengsan*

Do or not?

2007-09-21T04:56:00.000+08:00

If your life depended on it....

If many people's lives depended on it....

Would you?

Could you?

o.O

On the bus today

2007-09-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

On the bus today...

Over to one side was a young boy with a hearing aid.

On the other side was an older boy playing loud music into his ears.

If people's hearing starts out bad when they are young,

If people's hearing gets better when they get older,

I think I know why pGrandma doesn't like loud music....

New language

2007-09-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

skunkie: *miao*!

plink: ?!o.O?!

skunkie: *miaeow*!

plink: Skunkie, what are you doing?

skunkie: .!!.!!

plink: Wah, Skunkie so smart, learn new language.

skunkie: *nodnodnod*

plink: But why?

skunkie: .!!....!.!.!!!

plink: Were you going to campaign for Liucas?

skunkie: *nodnod*.... :D

plink: *pengsan*

Wordless Wednesday

2007-08-15T15:45:00.001+08:00

....

China Taxing

2007-08-15T06:04:00.000+08:00

In Beijing, two taxi drivers are playing chinese chess at a tea shop. In between moves, they ponder recent events.

Driver 1: Too many tourists.
Driver 2: And they speak very strange language.
Driver 1: Just the other day, I picked up a little girl who wanted to go to the Beijing Ultimate Bad Chicken Long (bei3 jing1 guo2 wai1 ji1 chang2).
Driver 2: Crazylar these tourists.
Driver 1 : And then they talk Engrish also very strange. Another little plink wanted to go Eight Great Bells (ba4 da1 ling2). Said it was where they were filming for One Mile Long Chen (Wan4 Li3 Chang2 Chen2). Turns out they were filming an episode of Ask Dr. Chen!
Driver 2: That childrens’ programme ar?
Driver 1: Yes, that’s the one!
Driver 2: And this plink is the children ar?
Driver 1: Ya, like the Chinese New Year Karaoke wan!
Driver 2: *pengsan*
Driver 1: Kekeke… checkmate, I win!

Going up....

2007-06-27T06:02:00.000+08:00

Earlier this morning, at the lift lobby....

'Doors opening'

'Doors closing'

'Doors opening'

'Doors closing'

Where have I heard this all before?

Say....

2007-06-21T04:39:00.000+08:00

Beautiful ....

Me or the sunset?

Would you believe me if I said you?

Were you going to say me?

Should I say you?

Would you say me?

Time for desert

2007-06-03T06:40:00.000+08:00

Announcer: Aaand LIVE from the Great Wall of China,
It's Ask Dr. Chen!

Dr. Chen with a group of little plinks at the Great Wall of China. Mountains in the background and blue skies... except that everything is obscured by dust....

plink1: *dustdustdust*

plink2: *koffkoffkoff*

plink3: *sniffsniff*

plink4: AAT-CHOOO!!

Dr. Chen: Do you know why the Great Wall of China is so dusty?

plink1: *dunno*

plink2: Untidy?

plink3: Dun care. Let's go Takla Makan!

plink4: Izit? Wait first, I Go Buy Dessert....

Tea break finish! Guess?

2007-05-26T04:01:00.000+08:00

And now, back to Ask Dr. Chen!

Dr. Chen: When we last left plink, skunkie and the sotong, they were building something out of teacups. Let's go see if they have finished.

A very long, high stack of porcelain teacups stretches as far as the eye can see. The three builders are nowhere to be seen, but sounds of stacking come from the other side. Dr. Chen and the camera crew look over.

Dr. Chen: Finish yet or not?

skunkie: *nodnod*

plink: Not yetlah! Faster build summore. This episode going to finish soon liao!!

sotong: =] O.O [=

plink, skunkie and sotong: *buildbuildbuildbuildbuild*

Dr. Chen: This is starting to look very familiar....

Teatime

2007-05-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

A teacup. Slender tentacles wind carefully around the teacup, placing it on top of other teacups arranged in careful rows.
Another teacup. Tiny hands lift it up to other teacups arranged in careful rows
Yet another teacup. A set of black and white paws place it onto other teacups carefully arranged in rows.

-----------------------------

Dr. Chen: plink, skunkie and a sotong are making long rows of porcelain teacups as high as they can reach. Can you tell what they have been doing? Let's go ask them.

sotong: *buildbuild*

Dr. Chen: Are you putting teacups together?

sotong: *dunno* Am I?

Dr. Chen: Yes, you are. What are you building?

sotong: *dunno* Am I building?

Dr. Chen: How about you, skunkie?

skunkie: !!

Dr. Chen: Building with teacups, yes. What for?

skunkie *dunno*

Dr. Chen: plink. Do you know what you are building?

plink: *dunno*

Dr. Chen: *to audience* Do you know what they are building?

Sad movies and books

2007-05-03T05:27:00.000+08:00

plink is reading at table. skunkie is passing by when....

plink: *sniffsniff*

skunkie: o.O

plink: *sobsob*

skunkie: ?

plink: I'm reading sad story.

skunkie: ?!

plink: Yalor, read sad story also can cry.

skunkie: !!

plink: Yes, mummy is a bit silly, crying when it's only a story after all.

skunkie: ROTFLOL!

plink: Same like when you cry watching sad movies lorr....

skunkie: -.-"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't it silly though? The princess, taken so cruelly from her prince, will join him once more. There would be no story to tell if people led perfect lives. And sometimes there is nothing to do except the noble sacrifice.

Excuse me, I'm off to tease skunkie about watching Bambi again.

Chi Sin

2007-04-29T17:22:00.000+08:00

Many people over the last couple of weeks have been spreading positive chi.

Positive chi is, well, positive.

It makes smart people happy and agreeable.

It makes smart people warm and fuzzy inside.

It helps smart people learn new things.

Negative chi is not positive.

It makes silly people grumpy and huffy.

It makes silly people whine and complain.

It does not help silly people learn new things.

I have been spreading negative chi.

Because I can.

Tongue twisters

2007-04-27T04:39:00.000+08:00

It is the seaside. a little girls walks around, asking of passers-by:

plink: Buy seashells? Nice oyster shell with mother-of pearl. Also, I have earrings, buttons and brooches made from seashells.

*bambi eyes*

She sells sea shells by the sea shore
The shells she sells are surely seashells
So if she sells shells on the seashore
I'm sure she sells seashore shells

---------------------------------------------------------

In the forest, a woodchuck is about to begin another day's work. A little plink comes by and asks:

plink: Are you a woodchuck?

Woodchuck: Yes....

plink: Can you chuck wood?

W: Y..es.... o.O

plink: Then how....

W: -.-"

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

----------------------------------------------------------------

And in a Chinese language class, plinks are struggling with maths.

Teacher: One more time class. Fourteen is fourteen, forty is forty....

plinks: Shi4 shi3 shi1 shi4 shi27... shi51... shi128.... Owww! Teacher, I hurt my mouth liao....

Have you got any favourite tongue twisters to share?

Peel of Approval?

2007-04-20T02:45:00.000+08:00

The punishment for reading blogs is...

meme-tagging!

How did this happen? I was reading at metria's place and, well, read on and see....

Part 1: On the Outside (Crunchy)
Name : Not metria
Date of Birth : 23 January. Oii... this one everybody knows oredi....
Current Status : Money no enough
Eye Colour : Brown
Hair Colour : Dark brown
Righty or Lefty : I am ALWAYS RIGHT!!!
Zodiac Sign : Aquarius. You paying attention or not?

Part 2: On the Inside (Smooth)
Your Heritage : Chocolate. It must be true, I want it to be true.
Your Fear : If I stopped being able to love, what would I do?
Your Weakness: Puppies and chocolate desserts
Your Perfect Pizza : With you.... and no calories mya pizza.

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Haiyolar... I sick again ar?
Your bedtime : 11pm.
Your most missed memory : If I miss something, does it mean I don't have it anymore? But if I don't remember, how can I miss it? *garu kepala*

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Teh halia, please....
McDees or Burger King : BK!
Single or Group Dates : Single, but double dates ok also
Adidas or Nike : Adidas!
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Lipton. Why am I such a tea snob?
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate. No, vanilla. Wait, Choc....
Cappucino or Coffee : Latte.

Part 5: Do You...
Smoke : When I'm angry and smoke pours from my ears, yes.
Curse : Yes, but not in public. Very un-plink-like, you see.

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : No
Gone to the mall : Of course!
Been on stage : No
Eaten sushi : No
Dyed your hair : No

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : No
Changed who you were to fit in : No, but made it look like I did.

Part 8 : Marrriage
Age you're hoping to be married : Marry me now. Or else.

Part 9: In A Guy
Best Eye colour : Brown
Hair colour : Brown
Short or long hair : Short

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : Doing a meme. This meme.
1 hour ago : Working
4 1/2 hours ago : Snacking. Coffee and blueberry muffin, anyone?
1 month ago : Seal hunting.
1 year ago : Being a mushroom.

Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : you
I feel : like my head is full of cotton wool
I hate : cruelty to people
I hide : my disappointment
I miss : my cousins
I need : to knock some heads together, including my own.

Part 12: Tag 5 People
If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. And so, this is how I ended up doing this meme.

Let's Go Clubbing....

2007-04-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

Look at me, I am so cute!

I am so likeable, so adorable!

Look! Here come some people who want to interview me. They look like they are carrying microphones.

Why do interviews have to hurt so much?

A very Agung Birthday

2007-03-21T08:49:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago, on the set of Ask Dr. Chen:

Producer: Fasterlah! Emperor's birthday today, so we are going to televise the celebrations live.

Director: Settle down, people. We are going live in five, four, three....

Announcer (with faux American accent): Welcome back to the Imperial Birthday Special Episode of Ask Dr. Chen.

Crowd of plinks: Yay! *Apprause* *wave frag*

Dr. Chen: Yes, a very Happy Birthday to our very own Emperor, AhKorWong.

plink: Not AhWongKor meh?

Other plinks: SShhh!!

plink: Orh....

Dr. Chen: And now we are going live to the Imperial Palace for the Emperor's Birthday Speech and Honours List.

*clickgolive*

plinks: O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O *OMGPengsan*

Dr. Chen: O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O *OMGPengsan*

Producer: O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O *OMGPengsan*

Director: Cut! CUT! CUT!!! *pullhairpullhair* >.<"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Siaran Tergendala Sebentar. Normal service will resume shortly. Meanwhile, please enjoy this test pattern.

*Choir of plinks singing: 'Maafkan kami, maafkan ka..mi....'*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy Belated Birthday to AhKorWong!

For more imperial escapades, start here

Gong Xi Valentine's Fa Cai

2007-02-15T06:45:00.000+08:00

Earlier today....

plink: *writewritewrite*
skunkie: *wagtail*

plink: Later dear. Mummy busylar now.
skunkie: *hmmp!*
*go telephone*
*dialdial yakyak*

Later

plink: Grumblegrumble... stupid Valentine's Day.. stupid blogger's block....
peacock: *preenpreen*
skunkie: *two thumbs up*

plink: *minding own business*
peacock: *open fan display*
skunkie: Wah, colours!

plink: Orang tengah buat keje nih.... Shoo....
peacock: Waargh! *sobz* T.T
skunkie: *hmmp!*
*go telephone again*
*dialdial yakyak*

Yet later

plink: *scribblescribble*

*tokchiang*

plink: ?o.O?

*toktoktok*
*chiang*

plink: ?!O.o?!

*TONGCHIANG*
*FIRECRACKERS*
*LION DANCE*

plink: @.@
skunkie: *MUAK!*

plink: *pengsan*

Gong Xi Valentine's Fa Cai everyone!

N..e..a..r..l..y T..h..e..r..e....

2007-02-09T02:48:00.000+08:00

... but why does it have to be so difficult?

Questions on a birthday

2007-01-23T11:50:00.000+08:00

Wilder elder?

Ailing feeling?

Herbally verbally?

Frantic fantastic fanatic?

Smarter curter faster curser?

Brighter righter fighter?

Eternally vernally?

Growing slowing?

Chronic manic?

69, but not what you think

2007-01-21T06:27:00.000+08:00

angel tagged me yesterday. And since I am inclined to answer tags (and have cheated by preparing this one beforehand), here's my sixty-nine....

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
- Married.

2) Are you a vegetarian?
- Yes. I'm also a fruititarian, siewyokearian... you could call me an everythingarian!

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
- I believe in you....

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
- No.

5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
- Can wear 24/7? Too uncomfortable for me, so tarak!

6) Favourite time of day?
- Quiet time, me time.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
- Yes! Fry with garlic and prawn. Leave a bit crunchy is nice....

8) Do you wear makeup?
- Don't have. Now you know how I fade into the background. ;)

9) Ever have plastic surgery?
- Not yet but I wonder if it isn't far away.

10) Do you colour your hair?
- I did once, but in my line of work, cannot.

11) What do you wear to bed?
- Perverts! This kind of question how to answer wan?!

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
- Got! Littering, illegal U-turn, speeding.. I'm so bad!

13) Can you roll your tongue?
- Can. Both ways!

14) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
- Gave up liao: too much pain. Using strings works better.

15) What kind of sneakers?
- Adidas!

16) Do you believe in Abortions?
- I believe they exist, but don't know much about them.

17) What is your Hair color?
- Very dark brown. Once upon a time, I had blond highlights put in, but had to take them out when pMom and pDad were coming around. So at the grand old age of 27 years, that I had to use black hair colouring! Like LaoAhplink lidat....

18) Future child’s name?
- I'm not a future child, so no need name.

19) Do you snore?
- Yes. Very loud summore. Like airplane taking off.

20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
- I would like to go... crazy!

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
- CHEYYY!! You all think I pervert arh? Sleeping with animals so geli! Oh, you mean the fake wan....

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
- SCREAM!

23) Gold or silver?
- pLatinum.

24) Hamburger or hot dog?
- For eating or what?

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- Hamburger or hot dog?

26) City, beach or country?
- City. What would I do without libraries, coffee or internet connection?

27) What was the last thing you touched?
- I always hope it's someone's heart. Yours maybe?

28) Where did you eat last?
- At home. I cook, or pretend to.

29) When’s the last time you cried?
- Strangely, it was in a shower, when things got too much. There is something about all that running water that makes it so much easier, so much more a relief....

30) Do you read blogs?
- Yes, do you?

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
- I haven't tried, but am open to the idea.

32) Ever been involved with the police?
- Yes. Once upon a time, my flat was burgled. The police came around and were teriibly professional, but they never did catch the burglar. I later heard that every flat in my block had been broken into....

33) What’s your favourite shampoo, conditioner and soap?
- I am forever changing. One is too drying, another is greasy and yet one more is not the right fragrance. One day, I'll find the perfect shampoo, conditioner or soap but by then, I won't need it anymore.

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
- I do, or so I have been told. Not only do I talk in my sleep, I also snore (how undignified!). No wonder people don't want to share a room with me.

35) Ocean or pool?
- Ocean! Then when finished swimming, we can all go play pool!

36) Do you have any wild fantasies?
- Many, but it's probably a good thing that not one of them has come true yet. Life would be so boring afterwards.

37) What are your wild fantasies? Name one... or more.
- I want to be waited on, hand and foot. Like old-fashioned royalty. Of course, I would have to be unwholesomely rich and powerful. Ah, dreams....

38) Window seat or aisle?
- Aisle. How else am I supposed to go shishi?

39) Ever met anyone famous?
- I wish I was famous. Then I could say I know someone famous!

40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
- Not yet. I am having so much fun that I have not yet weighed it up.

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
- I twirl linguine!

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
- I think that Oprah would knock Ricki out! But wouldn't it be fun to see one or both do a show in Asia? How would audience members in Asia react to being given a car each?

43) Basketball or Football?
- Neither.

44) How long do your showers last?
- I take showers, not make them!

45) Automatic or do you drive a stick?
- I drive a car, not a stick!

46) Cake or ice cream?
- Ice cream cake, please!

47) Are you self-conscious?
- If I wasn't, would I still be blogging?

48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
- No, but I had enough that I went home to lie in my bed. The bed was spinning around me so violently, I had to hang on to the bed to keep from falling off!

49) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
- Yes, but I have never had a beggar give money to me. Is this fair?

50) Have you been in love?
- Yes, all the time.

51) Where do you wish you were?
- I want to borrow KingsWife's answer please....

52) Are you wearing socks?
- No. I spend all day in shoes, then at home I wear socks too? Cheesin wan!

53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
- No.

54) Can you tango?
- No, but I am always glad to learn

55) Last gift you received?
- Sincere thanks.

56) Last sport you played?
- Badminton!

57) Things you spend a lot of money on?
- Clothes, clothes, clothes! Vanitas, vanitatum, et omnia vanitas....

58) Where do you live?
- In an apartment.

59) Where were you born?
- Hospital Universiti, Kuala Lumpur.

60) Last wedding attended?
- Last year so many friends got married, I lost count already. I wonder if I should....

61) How do you like to sleep at night?
- Sideways, snoring, talking in my sleep, apparently.

62) Do you remember what was your first ambition?
- I wanted to be a teacher.

63) Most hated food(s)?
- Celery. It tastes so weird! Then there are the stringy bits that get stuck between my teeth.

64) What’s your least fav.?
- Eh? Least favourite what?

65) Can you sing?
- I think this is called karaoke, right? So no, cannot sing but can pretend! ;)

66) Last person you instant messaged?
- I am so ulu with technology. I SMSed a colleague at work. IM? Tarak.

67) Last place you went on holiday?
- Strangely enough, Singapore!

68) Favourite regular drink?
- Green tea.

69) Current Song
- Never Had A Dream Come True by S Club Seven.

So many of my answers are so similar, that I'll tell you a secret. I could actually be KingsWife! ;)

My own personal Cloud Nine

2007-01-17T14:30:00.000+08:00

Just the other day, I was driving home from work. It had been a difficult day in the office and traffic was at a standstill.
I found my mind wandering over the happenings of the day and thinking about my coming quiet time.

A short vacation perhaps.
Flying away to somewhere nice.
A journey through the cloud in an aeroplane.
So close that I might reach out and touch it.
Fluffy, white cloud.
Cloud?
In my car?

My car was full of fluffy white cloud pouring out of the aircon! So it is with the car doctor now: aircon rosak.

New Year, Now Here!

2007-01-02T20:53:00.000+08:00

Happy, Happy New 2007 to everyone!

The ends of the year are especially busy times at work and I am looking forward to some quiet time later, hopefully not too much later.

My first resolution: get new glasses. I was at a party and saw Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, or thought I did....

A very Merry plinksmass....

2006-12-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

Wishing a very Merry Christmas to one and all!

If you have been good all year, I will be placing nice TungKu in your stocking.

If you have not been good, Skunkie will be along shortly to gautim you. Yes, YOU! ;)

Ask Dr Chen

2006-12-17T02:57:00.000+08:00

*silly theme music*

(announcer with faux American accent)

...And we're back with Ask Dr Chen!!!

*Dr. Chen seated with audience of little plinks*

Dr. Chen: And now, we answer questions sent in by mail. Our question today is:

'How many times can you catch cold in four weeks?'

*turns to assemblage of little plinks*

What do you think?

*sudden flurry of raised hands and quick answers*

plink1: Once?

plink2: TWICE!!

Dr. Chen: No, the answer is THREE TIMES!

multitude of plinks: Orr..... Lidat arr?

Dr. Chen: That is all the time we have for today's 'Ask Dr Chen.' Until next time, eat lots of oranges and drink plenty of fluids.

--------------------------------------------------

Hello to all my friends who have continued to drop by. Can you believe that I have caught cold three times in the last four weeks?
The last time was the worst. I am feeling much better now than I did a couple of days ago.
A couple of days ago, I felt so bad I nearly wanted to die.
Now that I can think more clearly, I want whoever passed this on to me, to die. Or I would be happy just to piak them with a sotong.
Please excuse me, we are filming another episode of Ask Dr Chen now....

^.^

Wallflower

2006-12-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

What is it like to be ignored?
What is it like to be unnoticed or unnoticeable?
What if people cannot see you?
What is it like for people to try and walk through you like you are not there?

I can tell you these things because I am a wallflower or, as one visitor might say, 'So wallflower lidat until can die!!!'

Restaurant staff overlook me, the librarian doesn't notice. Even friends can look straight past me.

Does this mean that I am not really here? What's going on?

Conservation

2006-11-29T07:20:00.000+08:00

In the midst of a busy week at work, I found time to make a garden bloom again. Calling water up from deep inside the ground, I quickly found the beginnings of a river swirling around my feet. The life-giving gift of water sprang from this little hill at the top of the garden.

And then the little hill was suddenly in the middle of parched scrubland. The little hill and its newfound bounty of water brought life to its arid surroundings. Within moments, what had almost been desert before became a lush meadow, a field of grass under a bright blue sky.

Why did I then wake up?

Blogs in the Head

2006-11-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

While at the dentist some time back, I remember looking around and being reminded of a couple of blogs.

Applause for pink cotton and red sponge.

A sofa is a sofa is a....

2006-11-21T21:54:00.000+08:00

There is a place, not far from here, where things happen for me.

I've curled up in it with a good book and a coffee.

I've slept in it, eaten on it and even fallen over it.

If friends drop by, or even if they only telephone, they find me there

I've loved, laughed and cried there, even hurt and healed there.

My sofa just happens to be a sofa. It's supposed to seat two people, but that just means there's room for only one.

How about yours?

The Wicked plink of the North

2006-11-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things get too exciting.
Sometimes extra caffeine is more than welcome.
Sometimes extra caffeine becomes a need.

The Wicked Witch of the West was probably crabby from lack of coffee. Otherwise, this disaster at work might not have happened:

The Lion, Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow watch the Witch as she
screams and melts away -- camera shooting past Winkies in the f.g. -- the
Witch curses as she disappears, finally only her cloak and hat remain on
the floor -- her voice fades away --
WITCH
Ohhh -- you cursed brat! Look what you've
done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh -- what a
world -- what a world! Who would have
thought a good little girl like you could
destroy my beautiful wickedness!? Ohhh!
Look out! Look out! I'm going. Ohhhh!
Ohhhhhh....

How different things might have been if, like the Wicked plink of The North, she had a latte with extra shots of espresso.

Melting... I'm melting....

Yes please....

My dentist, my friend

2006-11-11T18:52:00.000+08:00

My dentist is my friend. My dentist is probably my bestest friend.

Why?

Who else would I trust an hour of my working day to?

Who else would listen to me whine and wail to about toothache?

Who else would I let look into my mouth and at (what's left of) my pearlies?

Who else would I let poke around inside my mouth with a sharp needle?

Who else would I let numb first my tooth, then my face?

Who else would I let loose inside my mouth with a loud, scary drill?

Who else but someone I trust?

That's why my dentist is my bestest friend.

Even if he scares the living daylights out of me....

I know I'm unremarkable, but really....

2006-11-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

At an unnamed kopitiam in the North, a little plink sits down with a book and a latte, waiting for her cinnamon pastry to arrive.
At long last, a movement from the kitchen: the pastry is coming.

Server: o.O O.o o.O

plink: *wavewavewave*

server: O.o o.O O.o *looks past plink*

plink: *WAVEWAVEWAVE*

server: o.O O.o o.O *looks through plink*

plink: *WAVEWAVEW....* Over herelah oii!!!

server: O.o o.O ((((OOO.OOO)))) zOMGBBQFallDownPastrySmash

So there I was, right, sitting in plain view. Everyone could see me. Well, obviously not everyone.

And this happens to me all the time. It's like people can't see me or hear me or feel me.

Do I need a sign over my head with flashing lights that says 'plink'?

The Drudge (Dowan2Go-On)

2006-11-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

From the creators of The Blog(u)

The Drudge (Dowan2Go-On)
A Horror film by plinku

Synopsis: According to Malaysian lore, "The Drudge" is the curse of one who works in the grip of a powerful boredom. Those who encounter this murderous supernatural curse are gripped by a sense of senselessness and the inability to Go-On.
In a little office in the North, a little plink begins another day at work. Unknowingly opening a large file of quarterly figures, she unwittingly releases the spirits of boredom and the curse is reborn, as victim after victim falls to mindlessness in an endless, ever growing chain of horror.

Which wan nicer?

2006-10-24T05:00:00.000+08:00

*thinkthinkBulgarithinkthink*
*thinkthinkPradathinkthink*
*thinkthinkVersacethinkthink*
*thinkthinkD&Gthinkthink*
*thinkthinkGuccithinkthink
*thinkthinkMoschinothinkthink*

Tag-lisman, Part Two

2006-10-13T06:30:00.000+08:00

Here's a little more to unsettle you with.

HAVE YOU:

28. Changed a diaper?
Hello, I’m plink! When did you last see a plink change diapers?

29. Changed a lot over the past year?
Well you see, life is like a box of chocolates….

30. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color?
Yes. But just because I don’t know who they are doesn’t mean that they are not my friends, or that there are no people who have not seen my natural hair colour.

31. Had surgery?
If I told you, you’d have to have the same operation.

32. Killed anyone?
If I told you, you’d have to have the same ‘operation.’

33. Had your haircut within the last week?
Two weeks ago.

LAST PERSON WHO:

1. Slept in the bed beside you?
I don’t kiss and tell. Kiss, yes.

2. Saw you cry?
Must have been pMom and pDad….

3. Went to the movies with you?
It was with colleagues from the office, out to a Harry Potter film.

4. You went to the mall with?
I’m going to have to side with misti on this one: ‘Where got malls? I don’t see daylight when I leave from work.’

5. You went to dinner with?
A group of friends from university. A group of crazy friends from university….

6. You talked to on the phone?
The pArents.

7. Said ‘I love you’ to you and meant it?
The pArents, but you knew that all along, didn’t you?

8. Broke your heart?
It’s been such a long time....
These days, I do the breaking, or so people tell me.
I wish….

9. Made you laugh?
Three people, actually. May I present the founders of the Lin Cocka Wingz Institute…..

WOULD YOU RATHER?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
I’d rather not be pierced at all.

2. Be serious or be funny?
I want to be seriously funny.

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
Skim! (Skim backwards spells mikS)

4. Die in a fire or drown?
Quoting misti again: ‘I want to die in my sleep with no pain. Can or not?’

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
This is a very strange question. I want to spend time with my parents for obvious reasons, but I’d like to spend time hantamming my enemies (if I’ve got any. Habis, my paranoia is acting up again). Does hantamming enemies qualify as ‘spending time’?

ABOUT YOU!

1. What time is it?
1.45pm oredy!! See what you made me do!!

2. Name?
You don’t know arh? Read my profile lah!

3. Nickname(s)?
plink-u, plinky, TungKu plink, carmistinanplinktitokichen, plian, plinksan....

4. Where were you born?
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

5. What is your birthdate?
23 January

6. What do you want?
To not want, or perhaps to want for nothing but isn’t that an oxymoron?

7. Where do you want to live?
Right here, thank you.

8. How many kids do you want? Nine! Nine! All Nine!

WHO TO TAG?
Yalah, Who to tag arh? Or even, who NOT to tag?

Tag-lisman Part One

2006-10-09T06:30:00.000+08:00

Some memes can be very annoying because everyone has done them, everyone else has tagged me with them or everyone else is trying to do them.
Some memes can be very disturbing, because of the questions they ask, the answers brought forth to the questions and because of the questions that you have to think up in order to answer the original questions.
This meme is that last kind, very disturbing. This is why:

ARE YOU:

1. A Cuddler?
Who with, you?

2. A morning person?
Yes, just not very often .

3. Are you a perfectionist?
Absolutely, 100 percent completely not!

4. An only child?
No, I see loads of little ones like me everywhere.

5. Catholic:
Guess again....

6. In your pajamas?
I could be…..

7. Currently suffering from a broken heart?
Not currently. Once upon a time, I thought that it had broken, but it is working fine now.

8. Okay styling other people’s hair?
Why don’t you come over here so we can find out?

9. Left handed?
I HAVE a left hand….

10. Addicted to MySpace?
Allergic to MySpace

11. Shy around the opposite gender?
Yes.
*pengsan*

12. Loud?
YES!!!!!!

DO YOU:

12-and-a-half. Bite your nails?
Luckily, no.

13. Get paranoid at times?
Who said I’m paranoid? WHO?!?!

14. Currently regret something that you have said/done?
Regret, yes. Currently, no. Plenty of time for new regrets later.

15. Curse frequently when you get mad?
I count to ten.
In Hokkien.
Naming body parts instead of counting numbers.

16. Enjoy country music?
Sometimes. I tend to enjoy country more than I do country music.

17. Enjoy jazz music?
Endure jazz music.

18. Enjoy smoothies?
Too much.
Much too much

19. Enjoy talking on the phone?
Enjoy talking.

20. Have a lot to learn?
No... Of course a lot lah! Little plinks like me need an education mah!

21. Have a pet?
No, but I pet things….

22. Have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” person?
Always, but I’m assuming that there is only ever one ‘right’ person.

23. Have all your grandparents died?
No. Choychoychoy!! Dai gat lai si!!

24. Have at least one sibling?
Yes. How many you want? I can get for you, special price!

25. Have been told that you are smart?
Once. My head swelled up so much I had to walk sideways through the doorway.

26. Have had a broken bone?
Mine or someone else’s?

27. Have Caller I.D. on your phone?
Have YOUR Caller I.D. on my phone...?

Part Two will follow soon. Or will it?

Wasn't that disturbing? Even a little bit?

Indecisions, indecisions

2006-10-05T15:42:00.000+08:00

What's a little plink to do when things just... happen?

What's a little plink to do when these things are beyond plink's control?

What's a little plink to do when there are choices and decisions to make?

What's a little plink to do when there is not much to choose between these choices and decisions?

What is a little plink to do when the future beckons and the past mocks?

What is a little plink to do when things look like they might... just might, be getting better?

I wonder if Superstar, by Jamelia, is the right song to listen to at the moment:

I don't know what it is
That makes me feel like this
I don't know who you are
But you must be some kind of superstar
'Cause you got all eyes on you no matter who you are

Life as a balancing act

2006-09-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

*dancedance*

*trip*

AAACKK!!

*thud*

£&$%@.....

Pointing

2006-09-24T16:18:00.000+08:00

It's happening again. Things are going wrong, deadlines lapsing and paperwork is going missing.

I know whom to blame.

*pointpointpoint*

But of course, three fingers point back at me every time....

Merdeka 2006: Part III

2006-09-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

Having seen into the past and looked at the present, I wonder what the future holds for our beloved nation.
On this, the 43rd Birthday of Malaysia, let us sing of the future we can make.

---------------------------------------------

Sejahtera Malaysia

Puji dan syukur pada Ilahi
Anugerahnya tiada terhingga
Kedamaian kemakmuran
Malaysiaku bahagia

Dengan tekad untuk berjaya
Berbakti pada nusa dan bangsa
Kami junjung cita-cita luhur
Perpaduan seluruh negeri

( korus )

Seia sekata sehati sejiwa
Menghadapi cabaran
Kami sedia kami setia
Berkorban untuk negara

Bersemarak Malaysia tercinta
Kibarkan panji kebesarannya
Kami rela menjaga namamu
Sejahtera Malaysia

-------------------------------------------

Update 21 Sept 2006
For readers whose Bahasa Malaysia is not up to par (like me), a translation follows. It is not exact, but you can (just about) sing it....

Malaysia, The Bountiful

All praise and glory to the name of God
His gifts aplen-ty, boundless as the sky
Bless’d twice with peace, prosperity
Rejoice, belov-ed Malaysia

In name of King and Country sally forth
To build a nation for us one and all
Our unity, the greatest of our worth
For side by side we shall stand tall

(chorus)
One of soul, of purpose, one of mind, one of heart
In the face of all our trials
Never apart, never to part
We shall conquer with our smiles

Shine forth, O glo-rious Malaysia of mine
Shine forth, bright light of South East Asia
Forevermore the world at large will know
The name of our Malaysia

Merdeka 2006 Part II

2006-09-08T18:10:00.000+08:00

During the weeks between our Independence Days, the question is sometimes asked, 'What does it mean to be Malaysian?'
Erm... the easiest way to find out is to take the Malaysian out of Malaysia and into a different country.

Becoswai? You cannot take Malaysia out of the Malaysian....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Malaysian in New York
[to the music of An Englishman In New York by Sting, though the funkier Jamaican In New York by Shinehead, is also nice….]

Don’t drink coffee, I drink teh si peng
And my hair colour one kind
You can see it in my motions when I walk
I’m a Malaysian in New York

Hear me walking down Church Avenue
Speaking loudly at my phone
People watch me and they talk!
I’m a Malaysian in New York

Chorus:
O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York
O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York

Sparkly varnish for my nails I like
(And) Hello Kitty merchandise
Short tops, shorter skirts, a practiced vacant smile
All this so I can look more kawaii

O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York
O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York

Bridge:
Fengtao rules at parties / and alcohol cause fighting
Star from Taiwan comes / We all go wild
But ‘coz New York so scary / We say we like to party
Talk only / We acherly no fun….

[Musical bridge]

Man cheats on his wife with someone else
(And) We find out it is her mom
Not the story from the latest K-drama
But my neighbour’s life in Manhattan

Foreign friends can’t figure what I am
Indian, Chinese or Malay
Doesn’t matter friend, regardless of the hype
I’ll go on / a class-A stereotype

O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York
O-oh / I’m an AhLian / I’m a legal AhLian
I’m a Ma-laysian in New York

[fade]

Merdeka 2006 Part I

2006-08-31T03:53:00.000+08:00

Hari ini ulangtahun keempatpuluh sembilan Hari Merdeka kita. Sempena hari yang penuh bermakna, beberapa pembelog / blogawan / blogitikus mengadakan kempen berpuisi.

Berikutnya sumbangan saya:

Cantiknya bunga sekuntum
Membisik pada hati terharu
Bisingnya mercun berdentum
Petanda pula hari terbaru

Kelmarinnya hari terakhir
Tahun keempat puluh lapan
Impian sekaum, sejiwa lahir
Malaysia kita bersatu harapan

Bahagian keduanya akan diterbit pada Hari Malaysia yang akan datang....

;)

iRandomness

2006-08-29T18:30:00.000+08:00

Kyels tagged me this morning. The challenge? To reveal six random things about myself, then find six hapless people to foist this on.

O-kayyy....

Six random things:

1. Coffee makes me sleepy or gets me agitated. Only the strongest coffee has the desired effect. I L O V E strong coffee....

2. When driving, I have to signal before I change lane.

3. When nervous, I pick and scratch at my nails. Chewing on them is just too gross....

4. When I was young, I listened to the radio / Waiting for my favourite song....

5. I can sometimes be spied in an SS2 eatery sampling a Mango Sago Loh. Who with? That would be telling.... ;)

6. When I'm listening: 'Mmhmm,' 'Ya,' 'Right,' 'OK.' When I'm not listening: 'Mmhmm,' 'Ya,' 'Right,' 'OK.' Oops...!

Six random people:

angel
chen
Unker FF
Cocka
Lao Chen
Yvy

I wonder what their sixes would be like....

Fikiran Serong (Thinking crooked)

2006-08-24T15:49:00.000+08:00

At the office, one colleague from The South, Ms. X was talking to another, Mr. Y.

Ms. X: ...And yes, the course I recommend is The Southern one.

Mr. Y: How come? Good ah?

Ms. X: Of course-la good. Detailed notes, good lecturers and tutors. The practical sessions good summore, very realistic(k).

Mr. Y: But The South is a bit far, hor?

Ms. X: Yah, but the course is very near to my place. When you come, stay overlah. I make sure there's a bed for you....

Whole office: *O.Odropfilespengsan*

Ms. X: -_-" NOT MY BED LAH! Spare bed wei....

Titoki Syndrome....

2006-08-23T03:48:00.000+08:00

Actions speak louder than words
If so, I have been screaming for the longest time. Yet, the world remains deaf to my urgings. The deaf may not hear, so I am faced with the prospect of ‘screaming’ for quite a while yet.

Travelling the world, only to find myself where I started; running furiously just to stay in the same place
Both are equally true for me. I feel stuck in the same place and time that I have been in for years, having expended time and effort to get someplace else.

I'm stuck. In a way, I sort of have titoki syndrome.

If you happen to find her a cure, could you please pass some this way?

Pretty please?

The Danger of (NOT) Procrastinating

2006-08-14T13:37:00.000+08:00

Oh my.....

The cup of tea I made this morning sits cold and untouched. It seemed only a few moments ago that it was made.

A little water in a kettle to boil, a little clean cup to stand, a little tea bag from a box marked 'Earl Grey.' The kettle boiled, I filled the cup, then tended to other matters.

Now, I am left with a cold cup of something that looks strangely like coffee and a strange, un-coffee-like aroma, asking...

'...just WHERE does time go these days?'

Lunch for Twenty

2006-08-09T17:27:00.000+08:00

While some people have been having parties (yes, in the plural), despite the difficulties involved. However, the party I have been thinking of comes from our cruising friend and could be a little more difficult to arrange....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty Guests for Lunch

Tunku Abdul Rahman and Mrs. Tunku. Reputed to be great dancers and excellent at parties.

Mark Twain. Author, humourist and I heard somewhere that he was also good with the sketchpen.

Rodgers and Hammerstein. There will be a little piano in the corner and they could liven up things, in turn with another guest….

Caesarion. Son of Gaius Julius Caesar and Cleopatra. I wonder what our Egyptian guest would make of today's food, today's Malaysian food

Marie Antoinette. I would have roti at the table… just to see what she thinks of it.

Teresa Teng, who bridged generations with her songs. Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo Di Xin / The Moon Representing My Heart is an old favourite.

Mary Shelley. First science fiction horror novelist. Apparently wrote Frankenstein quickly and on a dare!

Mr. And Mrs. Joe Kennedy. I’d like to see some of the sheer ambition that eventually led to one son becoming President and two (?) more sitting in the Senate.

Mr. And Mrs. Winston Churchill. Wonderful, wonderful wit.

Douglas Adams. Best known for The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, he was a truly prolific author of screenplays, short stories and radio plays (H2G2 originally started out on radio). Enormously funny in person, he would be nice to have around in case anyone said something to stop conversation.

Pierre Curie and Marie Curie (nee Sklowdowska). Both husband and wife had the distinction of opening the door to the nuclear age as well as that of being the first to suffer the effects. I get the feeling that they understood more than they wrote down. Lunch might be a good time to find out just how much.

Mozart. For obvious reasons (see Rodgers and Hammerstein above). It might just be a little bit difficult to get the Beloved of God away from the piano, so I might have to call on the combined services of may and LB to work their magic in the kitchen. Wolfgang A. Mozart apparently liked lengloei and good food, so I will have to find much of both. Given his gifts though, do I really want to stop him playing?

Queen Elizabeth I. Plotted and schemed against by all and sundry, doomed to die before her eighteenth birthday, she single-handedly snatched the throne from her enemies. Then she had them killed. Reputed to be exceptionally reserved, the Virgin Queen might take the opportunity to come out of her shell at lunch.

Victoria, Queen of England and Empress of India. Victoria was the first monarch to openly marry for love. So deeply in love were they that when Prince Albert died, Queen Victoria wore black mourning for the rest of her life. I’d like to invite Queen Victoria and Prince Albert for lunch, to see if Victoria still knows how to enjoy herself or if ‘we are (still) not amused.’

-------------------------------------------------------

It would be a small, finger-food session, largely to keep conversation fluid and to get Amadeus away from the piano from time to time.

And later, at the end, we could all go off to the local Stabak or cafe-with-WiFi and blog about it. I want to read Mark Twain's entry and Mary Shelley's novelization....

Wrong Meme

2006-08-03T04:25:00.001+08:00

There just never seems time to say or do things any more, so I'm just reduced to doing tags.

*sigh*

OK, despite knowing that there are (and will be) no photos on Delima Kasih, angel wanted to know what I am wearing. Right this moment.

What is the time now?

*looks at timestamp*

I am going to do an angel and quickly change first....

-------------------------------------------------

There are no photos, so let's use our imaginations, like always.

Above
Let's start with a blue and white blouson with a label AhWongKor might find familar. Worn loose, because of my un-angel-like figure but I think it is amazing what designers can do these days.
White sleeves, blue centre and a nice red zip front complete the wannabe-sports feel.
Yes,it is true. I spend more time looking like I've been to the gym than actually doing it.

Center
Not black, but a very dark blue. This is the sort of colour that is difficult to describe. Call it black and someone is bound to object. The same thing happens if you call it blue.
I like the way it is cut. Since when was it possible for loose-fitting clothes to flatter a figure? Obviously, I know nothing about design.
I know what I like though. You won't catch me wearing any of that low-cut stuff....

Feet
Just like winn, I am wearing Adidas. Just like winn, I am going to bluff you all that they are dirty.
Who'd have thought that you could put cream and black leather together with gold embroidery? I am glad that they did.
Strangely for Adidases (Adidi/Adidae?), mine are lace-less. How about yours?

How Do I Love Thee?

2006-07-21T06:04:00.000+08:00

Let me count the ways…. I love the….

*crumplecrumplethrow*

This is obviously not working.

*new sheet of paper*

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Perfect Lover,

I had wished for a better, more private time to tell you this but well-meaning friends – well, one well-meaning friend – thought it might be funny to, you know, ask about these things.
It’s probably safe to say that you already know what I like about you and the things that you do. But what about the things that you don’t do?

You don’t SMS me in the dead of the night unless you need to. I appreciate the thought, I really do.

You don’t snore. I lied, you do. But a gentle dig in the ribs is all you need to stop. Strangely enough, blowing over your eyes and nose works too. Would you care to tell us why?

You don’t decide everything, by which I mean you are artfully indecisive. You know what I want. I know you know what I want. You know that I know, but your trying to stop me knowing that you know I know that you know is great fun. Don’t stop.

You are not obsessed enough with the bodily sounds that other people find so amusing. You don’t belch, pass wind or make silly noises with your armpits. So I don't get to roll my eyes. Fair?

You don’t mine your nose and ears, then examine the ‘ore,’ afterwards.

You don’t watch ‘enough,’ football. Thank the heavens for that.

You don’t dance enough, certainly not when I’m around.

You don’t make children cry. How do you (not) do it?

That should be enough for the time being. Eight things that you don’t do enough of, or at all. Keep (not) doing them, please.

Love,
plink

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian KeDelapan

2006-07-15T06:24:00.000+08:00

Culinary nostalgia is not limited just to pMom's kitchen. There is plenty to get fed (up) with in Malaysia. Eight of the best are right here....

Eight of Malaysia's best

Char koay teow. Nothing says ‘Gua si hokkien lang’ like sitting down to a plate of char koay teow. Flat rice noodle (the koay teow) pan-fried with garlic, shallots, ku chai /kow choy, shrimp and egg. Deliciously bad for you (and me). And if you go up north, you might be served char koay teow on a banana leaf! Hands up people from Taiping. The Restoran Air Kacang is home to one of your best char koay teow.

Gu leng peng. The bane of my life. Rose syrup into a glass of milk. Called Air Bandung when flavoured with pandan (you can leave the leaf in for extra flavour). The resulting pink drink is curiously compelling, so much so that it is why I am the shape I am today.

Kuaci. Melon seeds. Just like Polly The Parrot likes to nibble on sunflower seeds, Malaysians gnaw on kuaci. Anywhere Americans eat popcorn, a Malaysian will have kuaci. Movies, sporting events, parties. But unlike popcorn eaters, kuaci eaters tend to leave a mess. *sigh, goes for brush and dustpan*

Otak-otak. A wonderful, baked spicy fishcake with a difference: there is actually a slice of fish in it. While there you can get otak-otak without the fish fillet, the best kind usually has a nicely-done piece of piscine heaven hidden inside.

Ark tui misua. 'Duck thigh vermicelli', though the name does not do it justice. Gently coddled for several hours in duck stock with various chinese herbs, the duck thigh is so tender, it falls from the bone to touch.
Misua is a light vermicelli made from rice flour, that has the unusual quality of soaking up flavours. When the soup is good to the last drop and when the company is just as good, ark tui misua is not just a dish, it is a complete meal.

Aiskrim potong. Invariably sold from an iced box on the back of a motorcycle, aiskrim potong is just that. I have not tried it for several years now, so would not know if it is still sold but it certainly did feature in many a Malaysian childhood, from the city to little villages. The name comes from the ice cream itself, which came in blocks the same size as a box of colour pencils. On retrieving the desired flavour of ice cream, the vendor would cut the required amount out of the block of ice cream and hand it over to us. Messy, but heavenly. Modern ice cream is just not as nice for some reason….

Tok-tok mee. It took some time before we Asians got used to the idea of self-service and it was because of this sort of thing. The name came from a noodle stall on wheels, pedalled around while the vendor announced his business by knocking on a hollow, bell-like thing (the name will come to me in a second…).

Kaya kueh. Kaya is our name for egg jam, though the description is not exactly right. Kaya is a sweet, golden brown spread that wipes lightly over a slice of bread at breakfast. Or on to kaya kueh….
The kueh itself is a bite-size square of sticky, blue-veined cake made from zhu bee (lormai or glutinous rice). No light wiping of kaya here.
Today’s kaya kueh is not the dangerous confection of my childhood. All those years ago, kaya kueh was sold as squares as big as my little palm. I spent as much time enjoying it as I did trying not to drip kaya over myself, the furniture or anyone who happened to come within arm’s reach.
I’m sure finishing schools could use kaya kueh to teach… what do they call it? Comportment? Deportment? Balance a slice of kaya kueh on the head while walking. The heavens help you if anything spills….

And that's it, the eighth meme of eights. Thanks, angel!

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Ketujuh

2006-07-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

And coming back to the original form of the meme....

Eight new things I would love to try out or do at least once

Watching the aurorae, either in the far north or south. Some people say if you are completely silent, you can hear them as well as see them. That would really be something.

The Hermitage Museum at St. Petersburg. Once upon a time, the winter palace of the Tsars. Now it is an art museum within the four walls of a truly spectacular building. The sense of history, the sense of occasion, must be almost overwhelming.

Write The Great Malaysian Novel. Wouldn’t that be fun? The story could be about food and food and… food….

Crater Lake National Park in Oregon is supposed to be wonderfully relaxing. I hear the views are stunning and that the photos are only a pale imitation. Swimming in the summer, playing in the snow in wintertime.

A beach holiday in The Maldives, or more realistically, Sipadan. A friend once told me that the diving off Sipadan is excellent. I nodded of course: I don’t know how to scuba-dive.

Cruise the fjords in New Zealand. I would really like to see a fjord, especially how fog, water and fjord come together. I have seen it on film, I want to see it for real.

Swimming with dolphins. The dolphins will eventually figure us people out and run away from the biggest polluters on earth. Before that happens, I want some quality time with a porpoise. Porpoise, geddit? Geddit?

I would like to be an anime or manga character. Not cosplay. I mean actually made into an anime character, with my own series. My life already reads like the script of a K-drama or the fifty-episodes-plus serials so beloved of Hong Kong. Why not draw and animate it all? Might even save me the embarrassment of seeing who is going to be cast to play me….

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Keenam

2006-07-06T03:42:00.000+08:00

As luck would have it, I was preparing this little Delapan Kasih when ka..t tagged me. I suppose posting it now would be menyelam sambil minum air (two birds, one stone), wouldn’t it? Let’s start.

Eight foods from pMom’s kitchen (plus two)

Popiah. Light soft pastry around a vegetable stew (?) cooked to a secret recipe. Every popiah chef has her own recipe, and pMom is no different. As a side note, I heard popiah in Penang is sometimes flavoured with shrimp paste (heir ko), which gives it an interesting flavour. At home, our popiah is stiffened with a leaf of lettuce before rolling. I like the crisp, fresh flavour that comes with lettuce: it goes well with the chilli sauce, for some reason.

Pai Tee. This is finger food at most parties. Crispy pastry thimbles filled with that vegetable stew again. Aitelyu nyonyas are so fond of their overcooked vegetable stew…. Take a thimble in one hand, line it with half a leaf of lettuce then spoon in the veggies. Again, every chef has her own secret recipe.
The thimbles are difficult to make. It is not simply a matter of finding the mold, mixing up a bucket of batter and then persuading some silly little plink to make thimbles. Dipping the mold into batter, then into hot oil is an art.
The thimble just boils up out of nowhere from this thin layer of batter around the mold and you have to quickly get it out before it starts to burn (chau huay tar), preferably without breaking the brittle thing. Until I had mastered that little ballet, pai tee in our house had a distinctly smoky flavour to it.

Pandan Chicken. If I needed any more proof that we are nyonyas and babas, this is it. I simply can’t get enough of Pandan Chicken. I have no idea what goes into the marinade nor if the leaf-wrapped chicken meat is barbecued or deep-fried. This (and the huge amount of work that goes into it) is probably why pMom only makes it for family meals and not for parties. I would quite happily ignore everyone else at the table and be best friends with whoever is nearest to the Pandan Chicken. Nothing comes between me and my Pandan Chicken….

Lam Cho’. Take six eggs, tamarind, cili padi, onions and dried shrimp (hairbee). Soak the tamarind in water, then strain the resulting juice and throw away the hampas (the yucky stuff that remains). Chop everything else into small pieces, then mix and season to taste. The resulting egg salad is a deliciously eye-watering treat. Eating Lam Cho’ is how I acquired a taste for cili padi.

Tu tor thng. Pork maw, boiled up with rock salt, peppercorns, gingko (optional) and more cloves of garlic than you (or I) can count. Waste not, want not. Everything that goes into the pot can be, and often is, eaten.

Liver. This probably doesn’t qualify as cooking, but it is something I do remember. Finely chopped liver goes into a small bowl. Boiling water follows. After a suitable pause, it gets fed to plink. The theory is that it makes plinks grow up healthy. It tasted better than it sounds, I promise….

Tau Mio, fried with garlic. Tau mio is a wonderful little green vegetable, looking like a cute cross between clover and beansprouts with the inconveniences of neither (I personally wouldn’t eat clover). It has a delicate, cress-like flavour that is surprisingly helped by the garlic.

Tau Iu Kei. A little like ka..t’s Tau Yew Bak, only with chicken and garlic and TungKu…. Winn, did you hear me? TungKu-TungKu-TungKu-TungKu-TungKu-TungKu-TungKu-TungKu....

Fish fried with tau chneoh. Tau chneoh is a versatile fermented bean paste. It smells and tastes better than it sounds, really! If I remember correctly, you start by lightly pan-frying a fish then put it to one side. The fishy oil in the wok receives crushed garlic to brown. When that is done, a large amount of tau chneoh goes into the mixture and the cook gets out of the kitchen: there is a lot of fizzing and crackling from the tau chneoh as it joins the hot oil. When it’s safe to go back in, the sauce should actually be nice and loose. Stir until bubbling evenly, then ladle over pan-fried fish.

Perut ikan. Just like it says on the label, the main ingredient is fish maw. Using a secret recipe handed down from pGrandma to pMom, this strange, wonderfully tart dish gives absolutely no clue as to how it got its name. All the unsuspecting diner ever sees is an inviting island of vegables sitting in a mysterious, fragrant soup. Eat with rice. Amboi, best-nyer!

Go visit ka..t and tag yourselves. Go on, you know you want to….

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Kelima

2006-07-01T07:00:00.000+08:00

This next part of my meme of eights is a little different than most....

Eight times of my life to revisit, just for fun

My swimming lessons. For a round-shaped plink, I was very surprised to find that I sank like a stone. I did not enjoy it at first, but when I made up my mind to have fun I started to get better at it. I’m sure there is a lesson in there somewhere.

Graduation day. It was bright, it was sunny and the ceremony was stupendous.

In the middle of SPM, I went out after one exam paper to hang out with some friends. pMom and pDad grilled me afterwards though….

The first time I went out clubbing. In Malaysia, we have the expression, ‘Bagai rusa masuk kampung,’ (Like the deer entering a village) which was an accurate description of my first ‘proper’ night out. I was gawking at everything: the people, the fashions, the bright lights. All this, before I had anything to drink....

I once went to a ballroom dancing class. What was I thinking?! Obviously, thinking was the one thing that I had not been doing. It would have been better had I two left feet. Fully half the conversation that night was me saying, ‘Oops,’ ‘sorry,’ or words to that effect. I had never been so embarrassed. So why on earth did I go for salsa lessons later that year?

Earlier this year, some people I worked with staged a play.
It was a team-building exercise. It was hard work.
iRranted, iRaved.
iThreatened, iBegged and iMuttered darkly in equal measure.
i... Would do it again next year, given the chance.
iWonder why? *wry smile*

My last day at school, if only to remember what ‘anticlimax,’ means.

The end of Form One, Sains Paduan (Integrated Science) class. Thirty of us were sat in a lab with our amali (practical) exercise books in front of us. Only one page remained between us and the next year. Looking slightly nervous, our teacher said, ‘Open your books to the last page, please.’
It was the chapter on the birds and the bees….

I wonder if anyone has past times to share or to revisit?

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Keempat

2006-06-29T19:10:00.000+08:00

Eight things that give me the (good) goosebumps

Bookshops.
Not the big ones, like Borders but little bookshops where most of the lighting comes through the windows. I once went to the University of Malaya bookshop, which was like that. Before then, all of the bookshops I had been to were full of schoolbooks and revision texts. This shop was different. So very much that was different, so very much that was new to me, sat on every shelf. This was not the regimented blandness of exam preparation, nor was it the cheap, throwaway commercialism I found elsewhere. Everywhere I looked, there were books that invited concentration and thought. Books that wanted to be, in a sense, my friends.
Whenever I go into a little bookshop, I have this little epiphany all over again.

A certain smile.
Being smiled at is nice, but once upon a time, a certain someone smiled THAT smile to me and made my whole day. And my whole week.

McDonalds.
At the KLIA Sepang, next to the Eden Restaurant, is a McDonalds that is special. But not for the food that it serves. Travellers through the airport throng there after checking in, making dining there a very strange affair. Everyone is eating as slowly as they could wish and nobody is leaving any of the tables. Yet, there is always room for the customers who continue to arrive in droves. Most peculiar.
The goosebumps I get come from having eaten there many times before flying away to destinations near or far. Actually, they come from saying goodbye over meals there before flying. I’m awful with goodbyes, so the goosebumps could be so many unfinished farewells.

Getting comments.
I have caught myself getting a little blasé about comments on Delima Kasih, but still get a kick from reading them. I even re-read the old ones sometimes. Thank you all so much. *muaks*

Sunsets.
Sunsets by the seaside are very nice, but I get a special feeling from watching the sun set behind tall buildings. Where I grew up in PJ, when the sun set, it would set behind blocks of high-rise flats.

SRK Sri Petaling.
I don’t study at that primary school any more, but it seems like only yesterday when I began there. Curiously, it also seems like only yesterday that I stopped. I remember the little assembly hall, barely larger than a badminton court (which was actually marked out in white mosaic tile lines). I remember the family-run bookshop and the fact that their youngest son was in the class next to ours. Curiously, I remember the fishtank next to the staff room with the words like ‘jelawat,’ and ‘puyu’ stenciled neatly in a corner. Later, I was to learn that they were types of fish.

Methodist Kindergarten.
I have not set foot at my original kindy (and may’s and ka..t’s too, I hear) since I left. Even so, every time I pass by on the Federal Highway, I get goosebumps. I was not there very long and was removed to a kindergarten very close to my house, where I spent more time. I don’t remember very much about the time I spent there but I still get goosebumps. Speaking of which, I still go past the other kindergarten every so often. It is now someone’s home and looks completely different but I DO remember some of the times there. And I get goosebumps then too….

Does anyone else get good goosebumps?

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Ketiga

2006-06-26T06:01:00.000+08:00

AhMay and AhWongKor have been waving some songs about, so I thought I might get in on the act while doing my Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah long meme....

Eight songs

From A Distance. The last line is the best: ‘God is watching us / From a distance….’

Any number of Richard Clayderman’s piano pieces. DYK (ekskius ar, angel) I used to play the piano? Clayderman’s music was astonishingly easy to play and I even managed the correct notes some of the time. One day, I’ll go back to playing the piano. I need to practice more.

Suddenly. ‘Suddenly / Life has new meaning to me / There’s beauty up above / And things we never take notice of /You wake up and suddenly / You’re in love.’ Which is exactly right.

She’s Always A Woman To Me. Doesn’t describe me, but bites very close to the bone for quite a few people I know. Shameless, aitelyu!

I’m All Out Of Love. A wait-take-me-back song, the best of its kind.

End of The Road. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGBoyzIIMenOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!

I Believe In Love. Actually two songs. One by James Ingram and Sally Yeh, the other by a Filipino artist whose name escapes me. (stage whisper) I like the Filipino one better…. I mean, just listen to the lines:
I believe in love / I believe in you / I believe in everything / The two of us can do…. O.O!!
The US/HK one is just as funny:
I can look at you / And see right through / You’re a part of me / You live inside me…. O.O!!11oneoneone

Do That To Me One More Time. Two songs again, but not exactly.
Do that to me once again / I can never get enough from a man like you….
And there’s the Lionel Ritchie one:
Do that to me one more time / I’ll give you one more chance, this heart of mine / Do it to me one more time baby / Can’t get enough of your love….

How about your eight songs?

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Kedua

2006-06-25T06:55:00.000+08:00

My eight stories continued, with nicknames

Eight nicknames, made up by myself or had bestowed upon me

plink. I’m a little drop in the ocean, but also the noise in an empty vessel. Pink, as well as link. Contradictions, moi? Really?

plinksan. I have no idea why SAmericanExpress thought to address me Japanese-style, but I think it is very nice.

plink-a-baby You think I’m cute, ah? *waves rattle menacingly*

plinkliuliu. This name makes no sense, so fits me exactly right.

TungKu plink. AhWongKor probably got this from the Mushroom post. I could get used to this one. Makes me sound like royalty wor….

(The) plinKu. angel gave me this one. It’s great fun. *white dress, hair forward, climbs out of TV*
Before you liu, you see the plinKu….

plinky Thanks ka…t

drplink Now, that sounds very interesting….

Delapan Kasih, Delapan Kisah, Bahagian Pertama

2006-06-24T04:01:00.000+08:00

Having watched angel do a meme of eights and being tagged for my trouble, I get to try also. Having watched AhWongKor sashay his way through the earlier meme of fours, I am going to do an LB and twist this to my liking.
Welcome to Delapan Kasih, a meme of eight loves.

Eight jobs I would love to try

Coffee taster. Already naturally anxious by nature, if I got a little extra buzz from the bean, who would notice? Who cares? Go get your own coffee! This is mine!
Proofreader. I could read and read and read and… what’s a proof?
Agony Aunt. People already come up to me and say, ‘plink, you know har….’ The difference is, an Agony Aunt gets paid.
Dance teacher. I did say ‘try’…. You see, those who can, do. I can’t, so….
Judge on X-Factor.
Dentist. ‘Tsk, tsk. Look at the state of that tooth. It’ll have to come out. You want big needle or small wan?’ See? I’m a natural!
Celebrity un-fashion guru. It’s like being a dentist, I’m a natural here too!
Magnum 4D seller. Goes with my eyes… ‘One Big One Small prease!’

More to come!

I could be having the time of my life

2006-06-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

Yes, this does look like a meme that came around some months ago, but I'm posting this because I have been daydreaming a bit. Nothing to do with memes.

Right now, I could be having the time of my life…
… picking strawberries. Translation: eating strawberries.
… learning how to rock-climb (Hi may!).
… enrolled into a ballet boot-camp.
… shopping or lepakking or both, at 1Utama/MidValley/KLCC/The Curve/ insert a name here.
… reading a good book, with a pot of tea.
… writing a good book, with a pot of coffee.
… doing origami.
… making a mess of the kitchen while pretending to bake.
… pretending to cook.
… actually cooking.
… sorting through my wardrobe… again.
… dancing in the rain.
… walking along the beach. Just as nice when the sun is out as when it's raining and windy.
… sleeping.
… driving around looking for some completely random place to hang out.
... annoying my relatives.
… in a foreign land (let’s say Japan) where I’ve only got a phrase book to get started with learning the language.
… in a foreign land (let’s say Bangsar) where I’ve only got a phrase book to get started with learning the language.
… learning to sculpt.
… watching a play.
… being in a play… oh dear….
… studying particle physics.
… teaching particle physics… o_O?!
… running experiments on mice I happen to like.
… running experiments on people I happen not to like.
… showing certain guys what the word, ‘nutcracker,’ could really mean.
… sitting in a corner and drooling vacantly.
... writing an Agony Aunt column.
… teaching children how to get into trouble at school. ‘Well, drinking and smoking might get you into trouble.’
… teaching children how to get out of trouble at school. ‘Actually, do you know how Cikgus A and B spend so much time together hor….’

z is for….

2006-06-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

Zabaglione, which makes tiramisu possible. Steady, angel, steady….

Zanzibar, both the island and the film. Once upon a time, the island voted to join Kenya, but now wants to leave. Would that have made a better film?

Zephyr. A breeze and a motorcycle (thanks, Unker FF).

Zigzag. Refer zinfandel.

Zinfandel. Grapes, for making wine and making people walk zigzag.

Zip. If I wasn’t quite so round, this is how I would move.

Zip. Causing trouble in clothes for nearly a hundred years now. They will jam, tear and attack almost anything. Even body parts, apparently.

Zing. Vhat people do after zey haf been drinking of zinfandel…

Zara. Expensive fashion or the precocious daughter of a deservedly proud mama ; you take your pick.

Zloty. The Polish currency with a nice name.

Zonk. After drinking of zinfandel, walking zigzag and zinging, this happens.

Zoltan. Possibly the best name in the world. Just imagine…‘Good h-evenink madame, mai nehm izs Zoltan….’ *pengsanpengsanPENGSAN!*

Zucchini. A cucumber; a must with satay, great in salads, makes good raita. And a slice of cucumber over each eye during a nap is very soothing.

Zucchero. Italian for sugar, the most important food group. Without it, I might as well zonk out at my desk. Zucchero makes zipping in a zigzag fashion pozzible.

Zamboni. Unker FF may know this as the machine that makes ice hockey possible. It smooths out the ice rink so that ice hockey and skating shows can take place.

Zimmer frame, which old, frail people use for help when walking.

Zits. The clearest sign that we are young enough to have hormones. Ever seen a Zimmer frame user with acne?

Zither. A Chinese zither (gujin/guzheng?) featured prominently in Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu as an assassination weapon. *sings*
Strumming my pain with his fingers….

Zebra. When rolling downhill, they go blackwhiteblackwhiteblackwhite. Or so people tell me. A quagga looks nearly as odd, more so when it does roll downhill

Zygoma. The cheekbone and usually the last word in any dictionary.

The Blog(u) 23: Head-dress

2006-06-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

‘Red, why red? It’s not as if I’m getting married, right?’
‘But today is still important. Your blog will open in a couple of hours, so you need to look good.’
‘And what’s with the head-dress anyway?’ plink peered out from under the jewelled mass of folded crimson brocade that perched precariously atop her head.
Kucing Gatal smoothed down the sleeves of plink’s dress. ‘No dress is complete without a matching hat. Now let’s have a look at you.’
Holding her arms out, plink turned slowly. The jewels in her head-dress sparkled gently as she did so, reflecting the shifting words that seemed to lie just under the fabric of her dress.
‘Why are there words on my clothes?’
The Kucing shook her head. ‘I don’t know,’ she confessed. ‘The words were never there before you wore it. This is very strange: the words are moving too.’
Even as they had in the Hall of the King , the words etched in golden fire wavered. Unlike the earlier, more desperate time before, the words now moved calmly, fading serenely in and out of view. When plink went to read one of the words, it would sink out of sight into the crimson brocade but its meaning would remain.
‘Courage,’ read plink
‘Trust,’ said the Kucing.
‘What does it all mean?’ the little one asked.
‘I think that is you.’
‘Really?’

Why?

2006-06-05T16:03:00.000+08:00

Went shopping yesterday after coffee and sawsomething that hurt quite deeply.
A mother was out shopping with her teen-age son. He was whole, in that he had two each of hands, feet, eyes, ears, everything. Only his slightly vacant gaze and how his mother led him around by the hand hinted that anything was different. The son was a wonderfully placid soul, content to let the world swirl about him while his mother tried different shoes on his feet. And swirl about him did we all.
On the one hand, it was a scene to tug at the heartstrings. On the other, it was an awful indictment of human nature. People dodging one another, even in the confines of a crowded shop, make eye contact, if only for the briefest of moments. We ignored them both.
Nobody, not staff, not even their fellow human beings, acknowledged mother and son. The sea of humanity just parted around them like the Red Sea did for Moses, when elsewhere in the shop, people were cheerfully bouncing off one another.
I met the son’s gaze just once and was surprised by how unafraid he looked. It struck me then that he had not learned what everyone else around him knew: fear.
There is fear in every look. It influences and shapes all eye contact, from the young woman who demurely lowers her gaze at being caught peeping, to the belligerent battle cry of, ‘Kuah si mi?!’
Why can we not look this man in the eye? What is it we fear so much from a young man who isn’t whole, who isn’t like us? Are we afraid because he has no fear? Do we feel guilty for being whole and complete?
Why?

p is for plink

2006-06-01T15:31:00.000+08:00

As usual, this was angel’s fault. This is starting to become a habitlah….
Like with most good memes, I got carried away doing this one, so there are more than ten ‘p’s. Feel free to re-use the words, please.

p is for pajamas: nice and comfy, perfect for when there’s a nice warm person to curl up with.

p is for perseverance, for when things seem just a little bit much.

p is for the mysteriously-named white gold, pratinum .

p is for pride, one of my seven major failings.

p is for presumption of innocence, which we (read: I) forget all too often.

p is for perfect; if only I was too.

p is for push-button phones and the day I forgot what the word ‘dial,’ meant.

p is for pen and paper, which gave me the chance to see what I spoke. And leisure to regret it.

p is for Penang, home to a major branch of the pFamily. Penang is therefore partly to blame for what you see here.

p is for pearls, of which Penang is a very large version (Pearl of the Orient mah).

p is for pistachios. There is little to beat sitting on a sofa with a bowl of pistachio nuts and spending an hour or so cracking them out of their shells. Except eating them, of course.

p is for purring, which ka..ts and Kucings do. It’s a very relaxing sound and I am occasionally tempted to purr along. A little purr-aoke, if you like.

p is for peace, which features in two place names I can think of: Bukit Aman and Taiping.

p is for plain. This how I like my ice cream. But people say you are what you eat, which explains me, I guess.

p is for power, which corrupts, apparently. Corrupt me, please.

p is for prefect, which comes back to power. *looks over at AhWongKor*

p is for porcelain, in this case the complexion. How do they do it?

p is for pain, a fact of life that you just can’t get used to.

p is for pamper, a fact of life that you just can’t get on without.

p is for panache, something I could do with more of.

p is for pandan or pandanus. Air Bandung wouldn’t be quite the same without it. And we wouldn’t have much of Nyonya cuisine either, Pandan Chicken in particular.

p is for Pandora. When she opened the box containing all the evils and turned them loose upon the world, thank heavens hope was left in the bottom of the box.

p is for Punjabis, who throw the best parties anywhere. * b h r a n g r a b h a n g r a b h r a n g r a b h a n g r a ! !*

p is for parody and for some reason, this is very familiar….

p is for par-tay, see Punjabis above.

p is for passion, which makes the impossible possible… and me, just plain impossible. :)

p is for patience. Wait.

p is for people, who make memes and tagging possible.

p is for phenomena… (do-do, dododo), phenomena (do-do-do-do)….

p is for Pygmalion, later My Fair Lady

The ‘excuse me?’ section

p is for pen… cil.

p is for puck. I said PUCK!

p is for Pulitzer Prize. I said Pulitzer!

p is for prawn. You heard me….

p is for public. Read properly, please.

On the Seventh Day….

2006-05-29T07:59:00.000+08:00

…plink had a large Vanilla Latte
And it was good....

Ten Simple Pleasures, oh yes....

2006-05-26T18:29:00.000+08:00

Only ten? Why only ten? In any case, AhWongKor tagged me and I'm going to have to do this the hard way....

1. That parking space you can easily pull into, just in front of the shop you wanted.

2. Making noise with friends. Lots of noise (not what you think)

3. Blue skies. If you look long enough into a blue sky, you get this feeling that it goes on forever.

4 .Chocolate. Preferably dark, though I like white chocolate too….

5. Ice Cream. Vanilla is nice, but I won’t turn away chocolate ice cream.

6. Chocolate Ice Cream. See?

7. A pair of shoes that fits perfectly and accidentally finding that your clothes actually flatter your figure. These two usually go together. Ever notice that when you get your shoes right, your clothes tend to make you look nicer too?

8. Coffee. Freshly-brewed, please. When it’s dark and murky; when, if the light catches it just right, there’s that multicoloured oil-slick on the surface; when it swirls like treacle and you half-worry that something unseen will burst forth from the inside of the coffee cup; that’s when it’s been brewed right. Shaking hands guaranteed for the rest of the day….

9. Dancing. There’s something about bodies moving that does it for me, though not exactly the way may puts it…. ;)

10. Rain. A thunderstorm is pretty exciting, but nothing beats a light shower. It’s cooler and there’s that wonderful sound of rain coming down: very nice for a nap.

11. Laughter. Laughter has saved my sanity, I guess. Maybe it’s because laughing feels so good.

What do you mean I’ve done eleven already? No tags. It looks like everyone else has already had a go. It's been fun. Let's do another one!

Sibeh song

2006-05-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

Code-switch alert: This song contains high-levels of Manglish and potentially harmful levels of Hokkien. Excessive consumption may render subjects permanently Malaysian.

The Fugees swagger into a typical Malaysian reflexology shop. Sinking into the plush PVC armchairs, they get comfy as an old AhPek approaches and the music to Killing Me Softly (Roberta Flack, later by Lauryn Hill and Da Fugees) starts to play....

I was all tense and nervous
They said I’d love his style
And so I went to Cheras
To try it for a while
So there he was this Ah Pek
Said, ‘You want foot ma-ssage?’

Braiding my toes with his fingers
Making me say Hokkien words
Who say reflexology ‘jin song’
‘Can go to sleep wan And then hor’
‘Wake up feel shiok wan And sarmore’
‘Good for your health leh Sibeh song….’

I felt all flushed with fever
Nearly jumped off the chair
He’d found my tightest nerve points and pushed them hard – right there!
I prayed that he would finish
But he just kept right on

Grinding my bones with his fingers (one time) (one time)
Making me say Hokkien words (two time) (two time)
Who say reflexology ‘jin song’
‘Can go to sleep wan And then hor’
‘Wake up feel shiok wan And sarmore’
‘Good for your health leh Sibeh song….’

(Oo…h…. Lalala la lala…..etc)

Straightn’ing my chi with his fingers (one time) (one time)
Making me say Hokkien words (two time) (two time)
Who say reflexology ‘jin song’
‘Can go to sleep wan And then hor’
‘Wake up feel shiok wan And sarmore’
‘Good for your health leh Sibeh song….’

The Fugees stagger out of the typical Malaysian reflexology shop....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glossary:
Ah Pek; n. lit. 'Uncle.'; older gentleman
Hokkien; n.; one of the Min Nan languages, closely related to Taiwanese/Ho'lo.
Jin; adj.; very, quite (Hokkien)
Song; adj.; pleasant (Hokkien)
Shiok; adj.; pleasant (Singlish/Manglish)
Sibeh; interj. adj.; very, quite, 'jin.' (Hokkien/Singlish, latterly finding greater use in Malaysia)

I, Meme

2006-05-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

angel has tagged me with this meme.

I JUST NOW started this meme.

I SAID I JUST NOW started this meme!!

I WANT to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.

I WISH the world WOULD sing, in perfect harmony. Wouldn’t we be nicer to one another then?

I HATE hate. Sounds silly, but it’s true.

I MISS my innocence, but only because of the thrill of discovery. Things are so much more fun when you find out the first time around.

I FEAR fear itself. And hate. Sounds silly, but this is also true.

I HEAR Love whispering in my ear. Eh, go awaylah. I’m doing important work here!

I WONDER what will happen when my mind breaks altogether, rendering me a slavering, incoherent mess rambling on and on about unrelated things and do you like rancid camel cheese? On second thought….

I REGRET wondering what will happen when my mind breaks altogether.

I AM NOT much different now than when my mind cracks up altogether, am I?

I SING…. Actually, I don’t; I hum instead. One of my seniors once asked if I had music playing in my head all day long.

I CRY occasionally. That I haven’t in months is a miracle of sorts, but then life has been kind to me.

I AM NOT ALWAYS as callous and unprincipled as I look.

I MADE out this lunchtime. I didn’t really, but that got your attention, didn’t it?

I WRITE almost compulsively. I worry about forgetting and being unable to share my thoughts. A thought, once forgotten, may not be thought of again for ages.

I CONFUSE people who think they know me. I think my picture is next to the encyclopedia definition of ‘a walking mass of contradictions.’

I NEED space. Oh, and money. Always need money.

I SHOULD make more time and space and money.

I START meetings by apologizing. Sorry about that.

I FINISH. No I not. I Malaysian.

And that's it. Now for the last bit

I GOING to slow up for a while. Not to worry, I'll keep stalking.

Bishonen desu ne? / How Cute Is Your Son?

2006-05-15T14:27:00.000+08:00

Apology: the original version of this post was too long and too confusing. Hopefully, this one is more enjoyable.

Warning: Children, please check that your parents are okay to share this post with you. There are things in here that they might not think funny at all.
Helen, please check that your son is okay to share this post with you. There are things in here that he might not think funny at all. Or he might....

How Cute Is Your Son?
[to the music of How Deep Is Your Love, the BeeGees and latterly, Take That]

(Haa….aa…. )

A broody son, of that you had no doubt
So surly that girls would just run away
You were worried he was gay, but then he came right out
And said, ‘Dear mother, meet some of my friends’

And on the web / it became quite clear
That your son / proud but wrong / yes the surly one
He has girlfriends far and near
Bishonen desu ne / (Bishonen, your son is ka-waii)
Now that you really know
Nothing now will ever be the same
‘Cute’ is his name
And they all won’t let him be
Nothing ever comes for free

Now the worry starts
These are the worst fears in your heart of hearts
How the grumpy boy who got by on not much stew
Will handle women that are kawaii too.

And on the web it / became quite clear
That your son / always wrong / yes the broody one
He has girlfriends far and near
Bishonen desu ne / (Bishonen, your son is ka-waii)
Now that you really know
Nothing now will ever be the same
He’s changed his game
We should all have known of course
They’ll be knocking down the doors

[guitar solo]
[Bishonen, kawaii desu….]

And on the web / it was very clear
That your son / never wrong / yet the grumpy one
Has a fan club you can fear
Bishonen desu ne / (Bishonen, your son is ka-waii)
Three hundred friends and more
Nothing now will ever be the same
Who is to blame
We’re all scared he has no brain
Please God, make him brood again (doo-do-do-do-doo)

Haaa..(How) kawaii is your son, kawaii is your son,
Still you know this could be worse
He could dress in sequins and wear furs
Had surgery
Yes the kind that makes guys girls
Then he’ll say he’s wearing pearls (doo-do-do-do-doo, Bishonen desu ne?)

How kawaii is your son, bishonen desu ne? (doo-do-do-doo, Bishonen desu ne?)
How kawaii is your son, bishonen desu ne? (doo-do-do-doo, Bishonen desu ne?)

*fade*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glossary (prink speaku Yapunis):

Bishonen desu, ne? : Hensem guy, no?
Kawaii: Cute.

Sub-disclaimer: I don't actually speak Japanese, so anyone out there with real definitions, help, please? It'd be very embarrassing if I've actually written, 'Guy who looks and smells like rancid camel cheese,' instead....

The Stalker's Anthem

2006-05-11T08:58:00.000+08:00

An empty stage. A group of people, ostensibly nuns, file onstage and set up like a choir. A little figure in a nun’s habit takes out a small set of pipes and chokes….

*coughsplutterhack!*

*choir rolls eyes en masse*

And the music starts to play….

I Will Follow Them
[to the music of I Will Follow Him by Little Peggy March]
[with a gospel choir backing, of course]

I will follow them
Follow them wherever they may blog
Their writing brings joy unto me
And laughter and tears and their fears all I may see

I will follow them
Even though they move their blog I will
Update all my links quite quickly
The better to read new entries as they appear!

I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em!
And where they move I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow!

I will follow him
Ever since I read his blog I knew
There wasn’t a topic too deep
And with morals high he would keep trouble away.

I will follow her
She of sampan paddle and tattoo
And now she is getting married
A bicycle is her new friend,
It is her destiny (des-ti-ny!)

I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em!
And where they move I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow!
I’m waiting for new entries and medals and HugHugs!
From now until forever, forever, For-ever!

I will follow may
Follow though she climb faster than me
I want to bake cakes like LB
Or chi pies, her scones and his tarts; I now hear smoke alarms (smoke alarms)

I will follow him
From the homeland of the free and brave
His visage, a definite must-see
A banjo play’r extraordinaire, our One King of Memes
Our One King of Memes!

I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em!
And where they move I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow!
I’m waiting for new entries and medals and HugHugs!
From now until forever, forever, For-ever!

I will follow them,
Minishorts, FA and Suanie too
They write with such joy and insight
I must read them before I can start my day

I will follow them
Though they change their domains more than once
For I’m now a stalker, truly
There is no cure so I must read, read ev’ryday!
Faster update, woay!!

I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em!
And where they move I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow!
I’m waiting for new entries and medals and HugHugs!
From now until forever, forever, For-ever!

I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em, I’ll stalk ‘em!
And where they move I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow!
I’m waiting for new entries and medals and HugHugs!
From now until forever, forever, For-ever! (fade….)

This is for our friends who have moved blogs, both in the distant and recent past. Keep doing what you do and we’ll keep coming back. Even if you move…. Promise!

*muaks*

Baking Up Is Hard To Do

2006-05-07T07:25:00.000+08:00

[to the music of Breaking Up is Hard To Do, N. Sedaka and H. Greenfield]

Do-do-do brown sugar do-brown-brown,
Wanna wanna brown sugar do-brown-brown
Baking up is hard to do

Go bake your loaf away from me
Don't you tempt me with your recipe
LB Wong and then may too
Yes, baking up is hard to do!

Remember then, De Bookworm’s try?
Wanna eat some curry puffs that fly?
They’re the four, the best, the fe-ew
‘Cause baking up is hard to do

They say that baking up is hard to do
Well I know, I know that it’s true
There goes my kitchen again
One smoking pie, a burning bread and on my clothes, a choc’late stain….

One fluffy cake / one pastry tart
Easy does it / there’s a work of art
What on earth have we come to
When baking up is hard to do.

They say that baking up is hard to do,
Tried and tried, until I turned blue
My cake just won’t rise at all
And when it’s bread I try, it always ends up looking like a ball

A brand new day, a new soufflé
I’d do better writing Bengrish play
I can look, but no can do
Why? Baking up is hard to do

Do-do-do brown sugar do-brown-brown,
Wanna wanna brown sugar do-brown-brown
Baking up is hard to do

Mememories....

2006-04-27T18:01:00.000+08:00

If ever a meme was worth doing, it'd have to be one that wasn't being posted and reposted across the blogosphere. This one is nice. I found it first on Yvy's blog and then again on Yee Wei's.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
’…only as a pair of fingers poking into his mouth (and soon enough he…).’ Misery; Stephen King. Must finish reading it at some point.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
But it’s still only as long as my right arm.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Go Warrior, Korea on the Discovery Channel. Tan Yee Wei may be interested: it’s about TaeKwonDo. I was also rushing around doing morning things, so this might not qualify as ‘watching’.
The last thing I watched (and still am watching) is a DVD serial in Hindi, Mahabharat. Although the English subtitles are adequate, Bengrish would better
4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
5.30pm
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
6.00pm.... It’s a good thing I wear a watch, my handphone has a clock and there are clocks all over the house….
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The wind in the trees outside. Not the sort of thing that FantasyFlier needs to hear; not before midnight anyway. Hope your jet lag goes away quickly Unker FF!
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon. Lunch?
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Blogs. Oh, the shame!
9. What are you wearing?
If I told you, you’d all go blind.
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. See above.
11. When did you last laugh?
Last night. See above.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Love, mostly (stop laughing OI!). The house I’m in is more than just a home. I feel the love and the fights in every breath I take. Fear, celebrations and more echo with every step. All of this fills the house, it’s walls and the air within. And when a breeze stirs the air you can almost hear it speak.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
The Rojakz forum. Weird, but very nice.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Yvy said ,"let’s just say I prefer the ones where I can unleash my creative vocabulary." YeeWei agrees.
So do I
15. What is the last film you saw?
Shrek 2.
16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Everyone who has wound me up. Then I’d rent them out to Japanese Endurance Programmes.
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
My favourite colours are blue and red. What colour are my eyes? I’m only ever half-right. Grr….
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Myself.
19. Do you like to dance?
Too much, but I haven’t the skills or the training. A certain Fireangel may have some idea of how I feel.
20. George Bush.
Ai yo
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Penny
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Dollah (Geddit? Geddit? :D)
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Consider, yes. Actually do it… not sure.
24.What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
’Welcome to the real world.’
25. Five (5) people who just might want to do this meme in their journal.
You all know who you are, so get on with it!

My Fair Lady; Malaysian style

2006-04-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

Not far from the Sin Hock Seng Kopitiam at SS2, is another coffee shop, the self-styled Restoran Limho Mee Yorke (sic). Professor LinPeh, the renowned orange-haired linguistician, is near to defeat.
Sat at a table with his friend Chee K. Peckering, the good professor laments his failure to transform the Western-educated Eliza Nozalot into a class-A Ah Lian.
Eliza pays no attention. She concentrates instead on speaking into a strange device, little more than a tube connected to the innards of Robert’s Char Koay Teow gas burner. The blue and orange flames flicker slightly as Eliza practices her Benglish….
N.B: Special glossary at end of post. ;)

Eliza: ‘Aiya. ‘Aiya. [frowns]
PLP: Dielah. Cannot oreddy. [shakes head]
CKP: Yalah. Jialat. Where can make MSc to sounds like proper Ah Lian?
Eliza: ‘Aiya. ‘Aiya. [frowns]
PLP: Say 'Haiyah!' orso cannot. Robert’s fire also cannot up! [to server] Lenglui!
Server: Mau minum apa?
PLP: Teh ais satu. [turns back to CKP] Yammkung lor. How to win bet liddis?
Eliza: Haiyah. [flame]
PLP/CKP: o_O?!?!
Eliza: Haiyah!. [FLAME]
CKP: By George, she’s got it. By George, she’s got it!
PLP: Li kong simmik?
CKP: Soli, soli! I meant walauweh, show kaler orredy worr….
Eliza: HAIYAH! [F..L..A..M..E.!]
CKP: By G… Wahlau!
PLP: -_-``
[roll music intro]
Eliza: Hurricanes Hardly Happen In Hertfordshire. [flameflameflameflame]
PLP: Woi… dunpraypraylah!
Eliza: Teehee…. Acherly horr [flame], Hari-cane Heppern in Hon-diu-larse. [flameflameFLAME!]
CKP: Hosay liao! And rain orways fall where?
Eliza: On the plane! On the plane!
PLP: And where this plane?
Eliza: [sings] Air Asia mya plane!
CKP: Nao hiah! Sibeh ho liao!
Everyone: [dance fengtao] Air Asia plane always kena by rain ….

Special glossary:
Jialat: adj; hopeless, situation irrecoverable. Hokkien
Lenglui: n; lit. ‘pretty girl,’; mode of address for young lady. Cantonese.
Lengjai: n; lit. ‘pretty boy,’; mode of address for young man. Cantonese.
Haiyah: interj; expression of exasperation. Malaysian/Singaporean.
Yammkung: adj; see jialat. Cantonese.
Li kong simmik: interr; ‘what are you saying?’ Hokkien/Singaporean.
Walauweh: interj; expressing incredulity. Singaporean/Malaysian
Wahlau: interj: expressing incredulity. Singaporean/Malaysian
Show kaler: lit. ‘showing colours,’ to show true nature or the full extent of skill or ability. Malaysian/Singaporean (thanks Yvy)
Dunpraypray: lit. ‘don’t play-play,’ to stop joking around. Singaporean/Malaysian.
Hosay: adj. Best possible outcome. Hokkien.
Nao hiah: interj. lit ‘your elder brother,’; expressing disbelief. Singaporean
Sibeh: adj. Indicating superlative form of adjective to follow. Hokkien Singaporean.
Sibeh ho: adj. The very best. Hokkien Singaporean.
Fengtao: v; Far Eastern headbanging. Cantonese.

My Fair SCB

2006-04-21T16:03:00.000+08:00

A group of people file onto an empty stage. One of their number, a small figure in front, blows a set of tuning pipes.
'Humm....'
And to the music of With A Little Bit Of Luck from My Fair Lady, they begin to sing....

The Lord above made many many bloggers
Then looked around and saw that all were men
The Lord above made many many bloggers but,
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
God got down to making Siao Char Bor
With a little bit
With a little bit
God got down to making Siao Char Bor
With a little bit
With a little bit
Siao Char Bor got made: that’s our good luck!

With KNN and ‘shove it up his backside’
With HKC and TNMCH!
With KNN and ‘shove it up his backside/butt’
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
Siao Char Bor don’t need no disclaimer
With a little bit
With a little bit
Siao Char Bor don’t need no disclaimer
With a little bit
With a little bit
Siao Char Bor jin gau meir lang chau uar! 1

The Lord above made men to be bad drivers
They always go and kacau Siao Char Bor
The Lord above made men to be bad drivers but
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
They go off and kena big saman 2
With a little bit
With a little bit
They go off and kena big saman
With a little bit
With a little bit
They go off and kena big saman

The Lord above made Siao Char Bor a lenglui
Red-blooded males see already want to kau 3
The Lord above made Siao Char Bor a lenglui but
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
Siao Char Bor has had her exit planned
With a little bit
With a little bit
Siao Char Bor has had her exit planned
With a little bit
With a little bit
Why Ah Bengs all look for Siao Char Bor?

She’s now asleep and we all want to wake her
She might not see but we know she can hear
She’s now asleep and we all want to wake her but
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
One day soon Siao Char Bor will get well
With a little bit
With a little bit
One day soon Siao Char Bor will get well
With a little bit
With a little bit
One day soon Siao Char Bor will get well

Siao Char Bor owes her fans a dinner date
Promised char siew, siew yoke and coffee
Siao Char Bor owes her fans a dinner date, yes but
With a little bit of luck, with a little bit of luck
When she gets well we all belanja 4
With a little bit
With a little bit
When she gets well we all belanja
With a little bit
With a little bit
Siao Char Bor jom pergi big makan! 5

1. Siao Char Bor has uber-l337 skillz at pwning n008 dr1v3r2 (Hokkien)
2. Saman: traffic summonses and/or spot-fine (Malay)
3. Kau: attempted pick-up e.g. 'I think heaven must be missing an angel....' (Cantonese)
4. Belanja: our treat
5. Siao Char Bor, let's all go have a large (celebratory) meal (Manglish)

Siao Char Bor, we're praying and hoping for your swift recovery. Then we can have the big makan that we've been promising! :)

The Blog(u) 22: Incoming

2006-04-19T20:04:00.000+08:00

Busy pink lightning swirled and crackled inside the little cottage as plink scribbled furiously at her desk. Half-seen, half-felt, ghostly images of the little one faded in and out of existence, dusting, sweeping and putting away the laundry. Humming quietly to herself, plink prepared her blog for its opening day.
The little cottage shook gently as another blogtree took root. Wreathed in that strangely coloured lightning, a shoot sprang from the ground towards the gloriously bright sun above. Branches appeared, then disappeared as plink edited her entries. Leaves, few at first then growing ever more, spread shade under that tree.
Pausing briefly to sip at Misai’s Brew, plink continued her busy work. With a sweep of her hand, a half dozen grey moths were set free. Then she sneezed.
Paying little attention to the six fiery comets that ricocheted between the walls, the floor and ceiling, plink continued to sip at the brew and write. So intent was plink on what she was doing that the surface of Misai’s Brew rippled unnoticed.
plink wrote, it rippled.
plink edited, it rippled.
plink noticed. It rippled again.
plink stopped. Another ripple.
Then she felt it: a footfall. Misai’s Brew rippled yet again. A shadow fell over the little one. She turned and came face to face with Kucing Gatal.
‘Hi plink. I heard you were opening your blog and wondered… did you want any help?’

The Mushroom

2006-04-12T00:22:00.000+08:00

I am a mushroom. I don’t know what to think. I am told that a mushroom cannot think. Maybe that is it.
Once upon a time, I was told that a mushroom could only be. A mushroom could not hope to be anything better; a mushroom could not hope.
Then I became a rose. Now I tell you that it was most strange. I took on a shape that I was not before, a colour and radiance that I had not before and a fragrance that I issued not before.
All was changed.
Once before I existed only to scatter spores; then I became a thing of beauty and an object of desire. Once before, I, a common mushroom, needed no defence; then I grew thorns. And cloaked in their danger, did my beauty grow and I became yet more desirable.
Then, as quickly as I had been changed before, I became a mushroom again.
Changed, without so much as a by-your-leave.
Changed, without being asked.
Changed without being told.
Someone could have said in the beginning, ‘This is magic of the most dangerous kind and you are going to be a rose.’ Someone might have said the next night, ‘We are going to change you back and there is not a thing you can do about it.’ Yet who could have bothered with a mushroom?
What is it with the main characters in any story? How do they get away with sneezing on innocent mushrooms? Don’t they know their every decision affects others as well?
Doesn’t a mushroom have a right to live Happily Ever After too?

Update 13 April 2006
What was all the fuss about? I watched Shrek 2 last night and couldn’t help but wonder about the mushroom. You know, the solitary mushroom that stood between Shrek and friends as they were arguing about who was the best one to literally swallow the risk of Fairy Godmother’s Happily Ever After Potion; that’s the one.
On the one hand, there is the feeling that the mushroom received its comeuppance. It did grow alone when other mushrooms had enough sense to sprout in little clumps, so serves it right when it got sneezed on (if it did not choose to grow on its own, then what followed takes on a slightly different light).
For this was the mushroom that transformed in the rainstorm, even as Shrek, Puss In Boots and Donkey ran for shelter. This was the mushroom that became a single red rose. Did Shrek and friends unwittingly oppress this mushroom by accidentally denying its right to continue to be a mushroom?
At the end of the story, when Princess Fiona chose to remain true to herself (and also to Shrek), when the transformations of Shrek, herself and Donkey were reversed, I am sure the same thing happened to the rose. Having had just one day to get used to being a rose, it would have found itself a mushroom once more. Did Princess Fiona and company (again) unwittingly oppress the rose-mushroom by snatching away its new life as a rose? Was it not the worst form of cruelty, to let this mushroom be a rose for a fleeting moment, then disregard its right to continue to be a rose? Even if it had wanted to be a mushroom once more, should it not have been allowed to choose?

Mission Implinkable: Cold Water trailer

2006-04-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

SAm, LB, Yvy, metria, may, KG and HA crowd around Yee Wei, who is opening a little brown paper packet.

'What is it?'
'Lormaikai?'
'Teddy bears!'
'It's a cicak.'
'Maybe a model car.'
‘Cookies!’
‘Or even… a durian!’
‘…’

A very familiar tape recorder emerges, to everyone's disappointment. With the same, famous click, it starts to play.

*roll U2's sexy slow version of the Mission Impossible theme*

‘Good morning, team. As you may or may not know, the world of performing arts is currently in a state of ferment. Someone or a few someones are taking songs of playwrights and mangling them with shoddy lyrics.’

* LB quickly assumes an air of nonchalance, whistling tunelessly *

‘Although the results are hilarious, it is also wrong and we at the Impossible Missions Foundation have to put a stop to it. That’s where you come in. Your unique mixture of talents will be invaluable in this enterprise. You will first have to find out who is committing these crimes against humanity and then bring them to justice. Or bring justice upon them, then find out who they are. Whatever.

As always, if you or any member of your Impossible Missions Force are captured and made to go to the local Balai, the director will disavow any and all knowledge of your hamsup activities. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.’

Then it starts to burn, smoke curling from underneath the little box as flames start up inside.

‘AIYA!!! FIRE!!' From out of nowhere, plink dashes in and dumps a bucketful of cold water over the smoky, tangled mess.

'WOOIII!!!' comes the vast groan of chagrin from the assembled team.

'What?' plink looks around in confusion. 'What did I do?'

*end MI theme with rattles, horns and drums*

Do you know where you're going to?

2006-04-06T06:44:00.000+08:00

I get this feeling that there is someone out there searching for something, searching for someone.
I wonder who it is and who they are looking for....

Actually, I DO know who it is. I know also that they have been looking for me for the longest time.

If you have just finished your finals and are presently hanging out because your significant other is still having exams;
If you have been told that I have a blog but did declined the URL because you 'enjoy the thrill of the chase,';
If you have flown by this blog a couple of times before and not known...

I'm here.

*Muakz*

Armageddon a headache....

2006-04-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

Tan Yee Wei, your name is mud.

Just when I thought it was safe to get back into the blogosphere, just when it felt cool enough to dip my toes back in again. Just when the blog-apple looked safe enough to eat, along came Yee Wei and....

YeeWei: Buy a blog-apple from an old crone.
plink: *blinkblink* Arr?
YeeWei: I'm old and feeble and... won't you buy an apple from an old woman?
plink: Eh, you talking what?
YeeWei: *gives up* Look.... Apple to you. Money to me. Buy. Apple.
plink: Oh yar!
plink: *Grab apple* *give money* *Eats apple*
YeeWei: Oh by the way, you've been tagged. *smirkz*
plink: Eh, you're not an old w.... *pengsan*

The Rules : Write a composition using the following 10 words. The composition is not to be more than 300 words in length. The words must be used in the order found on the list. Each word presented in the list must be used only once.

The Words :
Actinide / Juvenescence / Ease / Oval Office / Cottager / Accede / Biryani / Crashing / Screenplay / Space shuttle

And before I awake (and go pelt Yee Wei with more blog-apples), here's what I dreamed:

‘Actinide….’ Sadie pondered her chemistry textbook. As she sat in a crowded school library amidst a quietly swirling mass of juvenescence, Sadie’s eyes still saw, but read nothing. Sadie and her teachers were always worried about her attention span. The ease with which Sadie lost concentration was of great concern across town.
At the Oval Office, under a portrait of George Washington, the President sought answers.
‘Cottager. What kind of a name is that?’
‘Sorry, Mr. President. Our random names generator gets weird once in a while.’
The President pondered that for a while. ‘And Hollywood?’
‘They will accede to our demands, Mr. President.’
‘Good. I don’t like them using our own citizens for this kind of thing,’ the President jumped out of his chair and began pacing the room. ‘What kind of a sick mind thinks up these shenanigans anyway?’
‘Biryani.’
‘Pardon?’
‘Sorry,’ his Chief of Staff apologized, putting down his cellphone. ‘That's lunch today. The Indian embassador sends his compliments.’
‘Concentrate, Jim, concentrate. What kind of twisted individual messes with the minds of children? If word gets out, this could all come crashing down on us. Nobody will believe that we’ve only just found out today.’
The Chief of Staff shifted nervously in his seat. ‘Mr. President, you would not believe me if I told you.’
‘Try me.’
‘Screenwriters.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘It’s true. The FBI and the NSA agree that screenwriters in Hollywood are behind this, Mr. President. They have implanted very small computers in the thirteen children involved; computers that harness the limitless imaginations of their minds.’
‘Why?’
‘To write the greatest screenplay of all time, of course.’
‘What have they come up with?’
‘Something about a meteorite, a space station and a space shuttle.’
‘Dear God…. This means….’
‘Armageddon. Yes, Mr. President.'
‘The Lord have mercy….’

(menulis 300 patah perkataan... plinkometrico!)

Fashionista! Cry Out For Me In The Maldives

2006-03-29T15:38:00.000+08:00

A lesser-known derivative of the opera LBita opens this weekend. The abridged script follows the journey of a fashion victim wracked by guilt over the vacuous life she has lived. In a few short days on vacation in the Maldives, her life changes forever.
Albie Lloymaikai Webber and Camayron Mackintosh’s Really Hamsup Productions Company present Fashionista! A story of love, ambition, redemption and forgiveness.

Audience reaction from its first run:
‘LBita with all the hamsup bits taken out.’ Au N. Tie [smiling]
‘LBita with all the hamsup bits taken out.’ C. Ko Peck [glum]
‘How come no bad language and fighting wan?’ A. H. Beng
‘Eeyerr… why so angmor wan? How about fashions from Japan and Korea and…?’ Ho W. Lian
‘Must watch LBita first, then watch this wan.’ plink

Cry Out For Me In The Maldives

*to the music of Don't Cry For Me Argentina*
[strings/violin and horns intro]

This is quite silly, it feels so strange
Though I know that our friends are close by
It’s so quiet it seems that we are all alone
Why do you watch me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she’s dressed up to the nines
Here in the Maldives with you

We could just let it happen, why don’t we change
My surgeon has made a new nose
And with help from the botox
I now look twenty-one
Now I have freedom
Running around trying everything new
But something was wrong all along
I needed someone you know

Cry out for me in the Maldives
And I swear I’ll never leave you
All through my wild days, my maddest dress-sense
And when I wear heels, help keep my balance

And shoulder pads and the gold lame
Like dresses buried in sequins
I have been in them all; they were all I desired
They are illusions, they’re not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
Please save the fashion victim in me

Cry out for me in the Maldives

Cry out for me in the Maldives
And save me from fashion madness
Like six-inch platforms, and 80s Big Hair
And I’ll be yours now, and go the distance

Have I said too much,
There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you
But there’s the bed and there’s the furry handcuffs so you know
That every word is true

Also coming from Albie Llormaikai Webber, in conjunction with the Really Hamsup Production Company and Camayron Mackintosh, the song cycle T**w Me On A Sunday, featuring the hit single Take That Hamsup Look Off Your Face....

Phantom of The Lormaikai, Pt. II

2006-03-27T16:20:00.000+08:00

Two songs here, presented by Albie Lloydmaikai to complete the Phantom of The Lormaikai. Part one is here. Part Two is coming soon to a theatre near you....

*curtain up*

It is deep inside the catacombs of the Sin Hock Seng kopitiam (near what used to be Daya Superstore and Maybank) and it is dark. In the heavy air of approaching thunderstorms, steam cannot rise but rolls down from the large bamboo trays where lormaikai is cooking. Amid the swirling mist of lormaikai steam stands a lonely figure, his face masked by a teacloth towel.

Eyeing the mamak across the road and Christine beside him (Phantom got two eyes mah), The Phantom of The Lormaikai begins to sing.

Drink teh tarik tonight

*to the music of The Music of The Night*

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Small cups filled with liquid fascination
Silent tea infusions
Soothe the day’s confusions
Friends all gathered by the evening light
Come let us drink teh tarik tonight

Slowly, gently, drink to all the good times
Smell it, taste it, share some very bad rhymes
See how it is steaming
Flavour so deceiving
Burns like justice, salves like being right
Won’t you have more teh tarik tonight

Close your eyes let the fragrance gently touch your heart
You and I will then not be far apart
With one drink It’s easy to pretend
That the tea is what it ought to be

Quickly, smartly, tea flies between tankards
Hear it, feel it, pour backwards and forwards
Open up your mind, watch your mamak just unwind
As he ‘pulls’ this steaming drink, one of a kind
What kind of drink? A teh tarik tonight

Close your eyes have another one with something new
An aroma you never knew before
Close your eyes and then drink your ginger tea
Only then don’t come too close to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch it, trust it, savour each sensation
Mi goreng, thosai, roti canai would you say
All are worthy of our national drink’s might
To complement our teh tarik tonight

My waistband is getting very tight
I’ve had too much of teh tarik tonight....

Dedicated to Yvy (who has some idea of what this feels like, presumably) and to Ted (who will probably find out soon, if he hasn’t already)

*************

A young woman ducks into the Sin Hock Seng kopitiam (near what blabla yadayadayada) on a a stormy afternoon. The roar of wind-driven rain all but drowns out the distant thunder. Towards the back of the kopitiam is a mass of roiling steam, the lormaikai stall. Rain-soaked and hungry, Christine starts to pick her way through the crowded kopitiam.
A bright flash of lightning blows out all the lights. As Christine stands blinking in the sudden darkness, from where there had only once been steam, a masked figure (teacloth towel again) steps out. And some very familiar organ chords fill the air....

Phantom of the Lormaikai

*to the music of The Phantom of The Opera*

Blue: Char Siew
Not blue: Ah May/Christine

Inside the kopitiam / I know he’s there
When fragrance fills the room / He’s everywhere
And when I start to dine / I always find
The Phantom of the Lormaikai is there / Inside my mind

Come have again with me / Our strange diet
My awesome lormaikai / Grows stronger yet
You’ll give your love to me / For love is blind
The Phantom of the Lormaikai am I / One of a kind

Flavour from Kampong Kai / And sometimes deer
Lap cheong you also use / ‘Hou heong’ I hear
How could then I refuse / My food so fine
The Phantom of the Lormaikai is there / Please form one line

Eat once again with me / Our strange diet
Those who love hor yip faan / Come closer yet
They come from near and far / Their love is blind
The Phantom of the Lormaikai is now / Best of my kind.

Herelah, this table got space (He’s there, the Phantom of The Lormaikai. Haaa…. *angel of music / lormaikai style*)
Have one more time with me our strange diet (Aaa…)
My pahwer Lormaikai grows stronger and stronger (AaAa…)
Eat first die later, no need Gaam Fei that kind diet, (AaaAaa)
Eatlar! The Phantom of the Lormakai is Chiu Khup Mo Tuck Teng! (AAa)
No got MSG wan! Gerenti Ho Sek! (AAA and two notes up)
Summore got spesel offer! Buy five packet free two VCD!

Dedicated to none other than the Phantom of the Lormaikai himself, Albie Lloydmaikai Bangchai and also to TheMonthofChristine.

*curtains down*

The Blog(u) 21: Starry Starry Night

2006-03-21T08:47:00.000+08:00

‘Oops. Excuse me.’ plink hiccupped again in embarrassment and a pink spark joined the little blaze of thought fluttering before her.
‘Do you know what to do?’ she asked the twin sparks.
The twinkling sparks, one white and one pink, blinked agreement. Rising ever higher, they trailed behind them the starry fire of plink’s love. As they rose, the two sparks drew closer and closer. A bright flash of light lit the vault of the sky as they came together, then four bright lights spiraled towards the heavens.
Another flash, eight lights. Once more and sixteen bright little stars blazed joyously in the evening sky.
‘Go now. Go tell everyone.’
Sixteen stars blinked as one, then arced away in sixteen different directions.

The little star came floating down from the sky. Darting uncertainly one way, then another, it clearly did not know where to go next. Ghoul was used to that. Being unseen and unfelt was nice in some ways, but the mail did take some time to catch up.
Ghoul watched as the little pink spark bobbed closer, then went up to it. Still unseen, Ghoul asked it, ‘Were you looking for me?’

Kucing Gatal was tidying up around the house when she heard a knock at the door. She had not been expecting visitors and so was doubly surprised when she went to answer it. The source of the polite little tap on her front door was a little bubble of pink lightning. A very familiar little bubble of pink lightning.

Browsing through the blogtrees, Yvy was adding her comments to the twinkling fires of thought that flitted from blog to blog. As the little girl wrote and thought, she became aware that something was watching her. Steeling herself, Yvy whirled around to confront a very startled pink invitation.

Swirling lights ablaze around his head, the Ghost Hunter sat at meditation in his training hall. Drifting slowly down through the rafters, almost like a pink snowflake, a new thought joined his ideas.
Eyes unopened, the Hunter smiled.
‘It’s about time.’

The good doctor was sat scribbling away at a prescription on his desk. A nurse poked her head around his door, ‘Look doc, see what came in the mail.’
‘Can eat one or not?’ The good doctor did not look up.
‘Er… cannot.’
‘Can throw away one or not?’
‘Cannot.’
‘Hamisu eat also cannot, throw away also cannot?’
‘Invitation ler doc,’ Blizzard waved the little globe of pink lightning at him.
He eyed the nurses suspiciously. ‘Invitation ar? Wedding bomb izzit? RM100? RM200? How much now?’
‘Nolar, invitation only. See?’
And he did.

Queen Min of the Forest had been contemplating the ever-changing face of the river when she saw an unfamiliar light reflected from the sky. She raised her face to gaze at the little star that fell gently from the heavens.
‘Come,’ she beckoned and it went obediently to her outstretched hand.
‘More comments?’ asked the Queen Fy of the Rivers. Smiling knowingly, Queen Min shook her head.
‘Nay, sister queen. Not comments.’
‘What is it then?’ asked the Queen of the Hills.
Holding forth plink’s invitation, the Forest Queen said quite simply, ‘Courage.’

Big heads and plink

2006-03-02T16:09:00.000+08:00

Conference. I will be at a conference this weekend.

[code-switching alert]

I find myself asking: What is a little plink doing at a conference? Regional big names (TuaLiapThau to you and me) from industry and academia alike are going to be there.

My only consolation is that I will be away from home for a few days. There is not much joy in that because there is so much left still to do, especially that second project.

It would be nice if we could do this as a video conference, but people I spoke to seemed to want an excuse to party away from home. Seik pau mo yeir jou, izzit?

Just to make things even more interesting, plink is not well. My nose is running like the Olympic Speed Skating Rink at the moment (refrigeration turned off mah...). My eyes are red and teary, plus I can't hear too well.

I SAID I CAN'T HEAR TOO WELL!!

Apparently, I'm not speaking clearly either.

Someone please tell me that this is entirely innocent and not something I picked up while being naughty in a time and place that I can't remember.

Oh no, is my memory starting to go too?!

[/code-switching alert]

Back on track

2006-02-27T19:37:00.000+08:00

Last night, the second project took off again. Owing to distraction on my part (working on other things over the weekend), the primi donne (thanks LB) were rampant on Saturday.
Things were very nervous for a while.
Last night's emergency meeting solved most of the problems. All we have to do now is rush for the deadlines.
Some things never change....

Sing, Sing A Song

2006-02-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

I've not pointed this out before, but just in case nobody's noticed, that little orange box in the top right of this blog is being turned to my little plinky purposes.
Instead of placing a description there, I write song lyrics. This could be an on-going game of Name That Tune.
What do you think?

Something big this way comes....

2006-02-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

...And it isn't me.

Lately, I'd been getting the feeling that one or more very large events are headed my way. This feeling was borne out in the last few days, by two things in particular.

One projects at work which was plodding along has suddenly gained momentum. I find myself in a headlong rush to do five, maybe six things in one go.

Yet another project is in danger of spiralling rapidly out of control. In my direction too! Though if I can ride it out and make things work I get to look seriously good.

The first project is staffed by a bunch of tremendously good people and my boss is watching out for me. I am the leading the second project, but that is scant comfort as that we are a group of recalcitrants and... what's the plural for prima donna? The two teams could not be more different.

Then there are the conferences to present at, where industrial cross-examination is not only expected, it is a requirement.

It isn't all bad: that wonderful swarm of ideas around me is getting brighter again. That has got to be a good thing.

Somehow though, it feels like there's more yet to come. Is this a good problem or a bad one?

Edit:
Tripped over this while reading Fireangelism:

plink --

[noun]:

A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

This probably explains why I have feelings and vibes about the future. Scary.

How old: a meme

2006-02-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

Got tagged earlier this week by Selba, who got it from SooHK.
Ish, geramnyer....
In any case, a meme is a meme is a meme. And there's this strange compulsion to do them anyway.
The most compelling memes blend nostalgia with imagination and this one is as compelling as they come. Let's get started, shall we?

Name one of the actor of the old days that you missed the most
*** Ernest Borgnine: Italian, jolly and always good fun. I like the way his eyes bulge out during times of crisis.
Name a cartoon of the old old days
*** Doraemon: Blue, squeaky and magical. Stops me thinking of the old old days straightaway.
Name a singer/group of the old days
*** De La Soul – Eye Know.
Band of the old days
*** Take That -- re-light my fire!
TV Series of the old days
*** The Dukes of Hazzard, now parodied (I think so anyway) in a motion picture.
*** Herbie -- same here....
Actress of Old Days
***Erin Gray –as Col. Wilma Deering in Bark Rosak in the 25th Century. And she's still hard at work; tabik maksimum, weh!
Fashion of Old Days that you miss the most
*** Flares. H..U..G..E flares!
Movie of Old Days
*** Bambi…. WuuHuHu….
Music Video of Old Days
*** Dancing on the Ceiling – Lionel Ritchie. Check out the special effects! ROTF(sorry, ceiling)LOL!
Coolest Song of Old Days
*** All Night Long – by Lionel Ritchie, of course. Quelle surprise.

We're all grownups here, so I won't tag anyone myself. However, having read this far, you've just tagged yourself so go tell us how old you are!

St. Valentine's meme.

2006-02-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

... Well, not exactly. Hedonistics Anonymous (Hi!) tagged me yesterday. This is how it goes:

What did you do for last Valentine’s?
I worked through Valentine’s Day!
What are you planning to do for next (tomorrow’s) Valentine’s?
Guess what I’m doing again this Valentine’s?
What would be the ideal place to celebrate Valentine’s?
One word: boudoir.
What qualities in a person would make an ideal Valentine’s date for you?
I’m going to have to go with HA for this one: money, loads. Yes, please. More than that, patience, the ability to listen and shop and…. Look, shopping is the prelude to the 'main event', ok?
What gifts would you buy / have bought for your partner?
All I ever get is cards and flowers. Why is everyone so kiamsiap these days? And when I say kiamsiap, I mean in time and ideas, not money. Hello! Where are your pbrains, people? Valentine’s Day is not an excuse to do the same things as usual, only bigger and more expensive! Use your imagination, surprise me.
What gifts would you buy / have received from your partner?
All they ever get is cards and flowers. Why is plink so kiamsiap these days? And when I say kiamsiap, I mean in time and ideas, not money. Hello! Where are your pbrains, plink? Yadayadayada….
What is your favourite all-time romantic movie?
Sleepless in Seattle. And they'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids....
If you could choose any person on earth to be your date on Valentine’s, who would it be?
The person in number 4 above, please.
And then hor… I am tagging all these beautiful people:
Yvy
Yee Wei (Muahahar! Revenge!)
Uncle SAm

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Edit: Those who've missed out today, fear not! Yee Wei has pointed out that the Japanese have two. And if Chap Goh Meh isn't enough, Chinese also get a second go! For the undecided and the unbudgeted, this is what is known as the Dilema Kasih.... :P

Valentine's Chap Goh Meh

2006-02-13T16:04:00.000+08:00

At dinner with friends last night, we talked about Chinese New Years past and about St Valentine's Day. We had been going between the two for a while, when someone dropped a conversation-stopper.

'plink.'
'Yes?'
'Chap Goh Meh is Chinese Valentine's Day, isn't it?'

That does make a certain amount of twisted sense. Wishes fly in both directions for a desirable other-half, silliness abounds, chaperones are much in evidence....

Aren't we lucky in Malaysia: we get Chap Goh Meh plus Valentine's Day? Twice the fun, twice the fuss.

Does anyone know if there's a day like Valentine's in any other calendar?

Edit: This was last night, but I can't help but wonder if my friend reads Selba....

Chinese New Year Trailer: Mission Implinkable

2006-02-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

It's the Chinese New Year in the Maldives and someone is also having a birthday party. Stranger yet, plink has been allowed to carry the birthday cake, with sparklers.

'Aack!' as feared, plink trips again. Cake and sparklers travel briefly skywards, then earthwards. A number of attendees dive in slow motion, converging on the falling cake.

The outstretched hand of Tan Yee Wei saves the cake (and party), but the sparklers bounce free. Spraying fire as they tumble through the air, they land on a conveniently placed fuse, which starts to burn.

*Original Mission Impossible theme starts, with flute solo*

'Oh no!' plink scurries over the struggling mass of party-goers and sprints after the fast-burning fuse. Yee Wei gives chase, cake still in hand.

*fuse burns from left to right across the screen*

KucingGatal, watching from across the room, sees the fuse burning towards furniture. Moving quickly and changing shape as only a Kucing can, she darts under the most likely chair. Shredded carpet glints in the sunlight as she tears after the flame.

LB, struggling with the birthday durian, drops mallet and spike. Taking off after the Kucing, he nearly trips over plink but eventually does over YeeWei. Tumbling and rolling, the disoriented duo somehow manage to regain their feet and keep going after the fire.

Counting her angpau haul, Yvy suddenly becomes aware of a hissing noise. Turning to admonish the Kucing, it becomes apparent that there is a fire headed towards her. Sampan paddle in hand, Yvy dives for the burning fuse as well.

There is a tangle of four as Yvy, plink, Yee Wei and LBond come together again. Meanwhile the fuse continues to burn quickly.

*fuse burns from right to left across the screen*

Hedonistics Anonymous is enjoying sashimi, surreptitiously picking the bits off from the Yee Sang. Puzzled by the sudden smell of burning, she looks under the table to see the lit fuse spark its way towards her. The Hedo suddenly sees Kucing come through and leap towards her.

Both the cat and spark are gone in a flash and HA returns to her meal. She is interrupted by a sudden commotion as people dive under the table, under her chair, across her meal, everywhere. Giving up, Hedonistics shrugs her shoulders and gives chase as well.

Metria is reading on a couch, totally engrossed in her book. The tide of humanity washes over, under and through, carrying her with it. Not noticing the commotion, she stops only to turn the page.

*fuse burns from left to right again across the screen*

The Simple American steps back and admires his handywork. Combining American know-how with Thai firepower gives the best value for money, othewise known as the biggest bang for your buck. Eight strings of firecrackers, each one eight feet long, dangle from the balcony. SAm is glad that the display is properly set up.

Turning to look for the end of the fuse, he is suddenly passed by the blazing spark and then by the stampede after it.

*filmed in slow motion*

Arm outstretched, SAm starts after the seething mass of humanity (and cat). As the fuse branches, one spark becomes two, then four and eight. Jaws drop en masse as the crowd suddenly sees the Damocles' Sword of firecrackers hanging above.

Firecrackers fill the air with smoke and earsplitting noise. Shreds of red paper fill the air. For a long moment, smoke, explosions and red paper hide everything.

All is quiet. All that remains is a large pile of red paper on the drive. Then everyone bursts out, scattering red everywhere.

'Gong Xi Fa Cai!'

*end MI theme with trumpet fanfare*

Valentine's Day meme

2006-02-08T21:04:00.000+08:00

Tan Yee Wei, what a naughty boy. My hands are full of a feature-length film, you go and tag me some more. What a fascist/dictator/neo-imperialist leader....

Write a short romantic excerpt of a facist/ dictator/ neo-imperalist leader [e.g.] George Bush, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, etc.

So here goes....

‘XYZ!’
--Pacepacepace--
‘Niamah!’
--Pacepacepace--

The Great Emperor stalked through the manicured lawns of his palace. Absently adjusting his turban, Shah Jehan mulled over his problem: gifts.

Flowers were not a good idea. Too common.

A new nose jewel for the wife? Too troublesome. She already had seven. The last one shone so brightly that courtiers went blind for a week. The Empress herself was cross-eyed for a month afterwards. It had been a difficult time.

The most powerful conqueror in all India continued to wrestle with his problem again, pausing briefly to chase away a couple of inquisitive peacocks.

‘The curse of Intractable Dandruff upon this St. Valentine!’ he burst out. The business of conquering and running India would grind to a halt at this time every single year. Princes, Ministers and war heroes alike were reduced to simpering idiots and for what? So they could all consider how best to please their wives.

Now, there was an idea. He would make every day St. Valentine’s Day for people he didn’t like. It was nasty, but appropriate. He didn’t like those people, the Empire didn’t like them, not even their wives liked them. Punishing miscreants with living St. Valentine’s Day every day would make everyone happy.

Especially the wives.

Shah Jehan twirled his moustache in delight.

‘Prime Minister!’ he called over his shoulder. ‘The men who are to be executed: reprieve them. The Empire is merciful even unto traitors.’
'Your Majesty?'
‘Yes, mercy. Henceforth, every day of their lives shall be St. Valentine’s Day.’
The Prime Minister gaped at him. When he found his voice again, it was a shocked whisper. ‘Every day?’
‘Every day.’

Shah Jehan had several sleepless nights as his lack of inspiration continued to frustrate him. He was no closer to a present for his wife when his Prime Minister approached with news of the realm.

‘O my Emperor. Your mercy has been a great success! The people do love you for it.’
‘And what of the doomed?’
‘O Conqueror of India, Right Arm of the Prophet, many of the pardoned are no more.’
‘Dead?’
'Truly, my Emperor. Rather than spend their days pleasing their wives, the Usurers of Udaipur threw themselves before a convoy of elephants. The Dastardly Drug Dealers of Delhi purified themselves en masse in the Great Ganges. The Maharaja of Patna, who did plot against you, was found dead by the Maharani this morning. He was sat uncomfortably on a fence.’
‘A fence?’
‘A most pointed fence. Also, the former Minister for Public Works went hunting for tigers by himself. He has not been seen for days and is presumed eaten.’
‘And that white building he’s been stealing Imperial funds to build?’
‘It belongs yet to the Empire, O Emperor.’

Shah Jehan thought about that for a while. The building did not have any obvious use, even though it cost a vast sum of money. White marble was very expensive but it did look very nice.

‘The Empress Mumtaz shall have it.’ he decided.
‘Your Majesty?’
‘Yes. Such a magnificent home, for a beautiful wife. It should have a beautiful name. I shall call it the Taj Mahal.’

Judging from the whining I get from guy friends at this time every year, that's how the Taj Mahal came to be. But don't come to plink asking for lessons in history; gerenti F9 punye....

Edit 09/02/06: Everyone who wants to is tagged. I think this is called spreading the love. Go on, it's Valentine's Day. You know you want to!

Dr. Oops: Trailer One, Mission Implinkable

2006-02-02T16:22:00.000+08:00

A sunny tropical beach, line with palms and ringed by and azure sea. The sky is clear and the sand, blindingly white. A warm breeze blows landwards, making palm fronds sway gently, almost seductively.
A young woman, Miss Ryder, emerges from the waters as a familiar man watches. As he makes a drink for himself inside inside his beachside hut, Mr. Bond hears her sing:

'Underneath the mango tree....'

Then, a sudden silence. Turning to the sea, Miss Ryder stares in sudden amazement and fear as someone else rises from the waves. Without so much as a ripple, a little figure dressed in a little white smock comes to stand on the waves. Long black hair completely covers its face, seeming somehow also to dim the sun.

Silence fills the air as surf and even the breeze is stilled. Colours shift, becoming wan and melting together as the little one approaches her. The young woman feels suddenly cold as the little girl in the smock reaches up and parts her hair.

'Aiyah. Wrong movie leh!' exclaims plink. Looking around in obvious confusion. 'I'm supposed to be in another story,' she explains by way of apology to the stunned Ms. Ryder. One anklehug and a quick wave later, she is gone.

*Roll James Bond opening theme*