10 October 2005

The Blog(u) 2:Forest Queens

Deep within the Forest lived its Queens. The Queen of the Valley ruled the Lower Forests of lush, green trees, while the Queen of the Hills held sway over the Upper Forests of pine and evergreens. They would hold council with one another and with the Queen of Rivers also. Together, they preserved the sanctity of the Forest, its life and its beauty for all time.

plink no longer cared. The beauty of blogs held no meaning and the joyful buzzing of ideas could no longer be heard. plink had been running for a very long time, yet not long enough. Fear's mocking laughter cut like a knife into plink's very soul. There was nowhere to go, no sanctuary from Fear, Doubt, Verbiage or Bombast. Sobbing with fear and hopelessness, plink ran on.

Queen Fy of the Rivers raised her hand. Queens Min of The Valley and Sun of The Hills exchanged a worried look.
'Hark ye,' said Queen Fy. 'List thou unto the new sound.' Carried gently by the wind that breathed life into their realm was the scent of regret. That regret sharpened suddenly with the smoky, dry taste of fear and a thin, keening wail of despair wafted along beside it.
The Queen of the Rivers bowed her head, 'One will come soon, who needs our help.'

It was dark once more, but plink continued to run: there was nothing left to do. All that remained was to run headlong into the darkness and to suffer the consequences.
A perverse relief came over plink as a solid object firmly stopped further progress. Running into solid wood had that effect on plink. Lying dazed with a head ringing like a cracked bell, plink started to laugh uncontrollably: it would all be over soon. Fear, Doubt and all the rest would come to finish the matter forever.
The solid block of wood swung open and a tall woman with an imperial bearing stepped out. The queen's anger darkened her beautiful features and plink braced for the worst. She drew herself up before plink and said 'Wah piang eh!'
plink blinked. 'Excuse me?'
'Nao hiah! Middle of the night simply pingpang pingpang make noise whack people's door izzit? Do you know with whom you are playing?'
plink could only make a small whimpering noise as the queen looked down, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
'Limbu ka li kong... Gua si Queen Min of The Valley and I am having a truly MaCH3 night....'
'Sorry, MaCH3?' plink blinked in confusion again.
'MaChaoHai(1)! MaChaoHai(2)!! MACHAOHAI(3)!!!' Queen Min stamped her feet in annoyance and little plink scrambled away in terror, promptly bowling over someone else in the process.
'WTFOMGCCBMCK?!' came the startled oath as plink and the Queen of Rivers fell head over heels in a tangle of gowns, royalty and peasantry. Just then, Queen Sun of the Hills came through the door. She quickly surveyed the scene in front of her, taking in the much-vexed Queen Min, the much-upended Queen Fy and the much-ow-eye, unwashed, commoner. Then she looked at the bottle of Hoegaarden in her hand and lobbed it away.
'No more drinking before bedtime,' she vowed as she went back indoors. Her carelessly discarded bottle sailed through the cool night air, tumbling end over end.
In the moment that followed, queens, forests, doors and a beer bottle came together in a bright flash. Then all was dark....

plink came to with a start. Together with the Queens of the Hills, Valleys and Rivers, plink was walking along a forest path. Queen Min, tall and slender, regarded the little peasant in the long smock. plink flinched as she began to speak.
'Fear not, Little One. We have known of your coming for some time now.'
plink was stunned.
'Actually, your screaming woke up the whole forest,' explained Sun of the Hills, adjusting the glittering circlet over brow.
'But we know also why you have come.'
plink's long smock caught up in toes long accustomed to flight but not at all to walking and so the little one fell head-first into a bramble patch, 'Aack, PocKai!!'

The whole world spun for a long while. Swirling colours and bright spots of light mixed in with the confused babble of voices around plink.
'This kind of people also want to blog, izzit?'
'There is room for everyone in the blogosphere wan.'
'Misai! Teh Halia satu, tambah hal...' 'SIAPP!!!'
plink suddenly came awake at a table for four in a strangely familiar part of PJ (SS2, opposite the Balai). The three Forest Queens were peering suspiciously at the messy little plink.
'What did I do?' plink demanded.
Queen Fy swirled the remains of a teh limau ais around the bottom of her glass. She chewed on her lip in thought before asking, 'Extra ginger. Extra ginger?!'
Before plink could reply, the world disappeared again.

'May I follow you, learn from you and have you teach me how to blog?' plink was asking Queen Min. The Queen of The Valley frowned, her finely lined features darkening once more as she spoke.
'We none of us can teach what you ask,' came the curiously gentle rebuke. 'Look around you; this Forest is but another blogfield. We three tend it so that it prospers and pleases those who come within.'
plink's look of confusion, or possibly headache from the beer bottle, must have shown, for Queen Fy stepped in. 'Blog yourself. What you blog is a part of you.'
'And language?' plink blinked.
Queen Sun of The Hills winked conspiratorially at plink and handed over a steaming cup of teh halia. 'We're not always like this. You can swear if you want, or not if you don't.'
Sipping absently at Misai's brew, plink thought about this for a while. Slowly, the quiet murmur of ideas flitting between the trees became audible again and plink brightened.
'What about this?' plink indicated the teh halia.
Queen Fy knelt down beside plink and said, 'That is Misai's Brew. It used to be the most powerful drink in the world.'
'And now?'
'You've added more ginger, which makes it even more dangerous. One sip and you'll blog only the truth.'
'What if I bantai it all in one go?'
'I'd sooner do a double-vodka Ribena marathon than try that,' conceded The Queen of The Rivers with a shudder.
'So, you want to blog?'
'Yes! And to comment also!' plink gushed in excitement, spilling teh halia everywhere. The Forest Queens exchanged a knowing glance, then spoke as one.
'Seek thou amongst the trees. Amidst them shalt thou find thy heart's desire. Seek also afar, in other blogfields for there is much that awaits thy coming.'
And the heart of plink was made glad, as the journey continued. But even as plink communed with the trees and the ideas between, other perils lurked in the shadows.