04 January 2006

The Blog(u) 19: One Word

High on a hill in the Forest of Blogs, by the river that gave it life, a queen and a peasant met.
‘And how do I learn to write like you?’
Queen Min’s flawless brow darkened again. ‘Writest thou one word. Then dost thou write another. Practice. From practice perchance shalt thou obtain thy heart’s desire.’
‘And what of trolls?’
‘One such doth stand behind thee,’ the queen replied. plink turned to look at the bent, misshapen form standing at a blogtree. In the still evening air, she heard it cackling to itself as it carved idiocy and irrelevance into the substance of the blog.
‘You can’t let the troll get away with this!’ plink exclaimed. Queen Min did not reply. Instead, she frowned briefly in concentration.
Then she swore.
Queen Min muttered only one word, an epithet so vile that it made plink’s eyes water. That single word shook the forest, sweeping everything before it like some vast wave of profanity.
Everything stopped. The birds fell silent, the wind died down and even the dancing fires of ideas throughout the forest froze.
The troll also stopped. Realizing that it had been caught out, it tried to run away.
‘Stop him! Stop him!’ plink tugged excitedly at the lacy sleeve of the queen’s gown. She smiled briefly at the little one, then spoke another word. This word echoed as a whisper from one corner of the woods to all the rest and it filled plink with sorrow. plink glanced at the Forest Queen and saw with some surprise that tears coursed over her regal features.
‘Why do you cry, Queen Min?’
‘Evil shalt come to pass and it doth sadden me, for it shall be evil by my hand. But will I or nil I, it needst be done. Hush now, little one. Let us work retribution upon the troll.’
Then they were upon it.
‘Thou doth wilfully trespass here. Begone!’ The Forest Queen’s eyes were ablaze with fury.
‘The Forest is common ground. All may….’ the troll began. plink heard Queen Min’s whispered spell and a large tree branch afire with the light of ideas fell conveniently onto the miscreant. The queen winked knowingly at plink, then went around the burning branch and helped the dazed troll out from underneath.
‘What sayest thou?’
‘That I have every right to…’ the troll blustered, then promptly tripped and fell headlong into a bramble patch that just happened to be there. Screaming as the razor-sharp bush shredded its thick hide, the troll thrashed noisily inside. Queen Min yanked the troll out again and asked, ‘Yes?’
‘If people don’t agree, they can…’ and then the troll slipped on a patch of leaves, thumped its head against a stout tree trunk and fell into an ivy bush. It promptly sprang out again, rolling in the dirt and scratching at itself. Queen Min saw plink giggling behind her tiny hands and winked again as she dragged her bleeding, itching adversary to its feet once more.
Spluttering curses and vowing vengeance, the troll stumbled away. So intent was the troll on revenge that it did not see a low-hanging branch, or the high river bank nearby. plink winced at the sound as troll and branch came noisily together. The stunned troll did not regain its composure until it had come upon the riverbank. Hanging in the balance for a moment with arms waving, the troll tried desperately not to fall.
The large splash of water was very pretty, thought plink. The troll was obviously heavier than it looked. Some people would have used the word, ‘denser.’
Queen Min picked up the laughing plink as the troll dragged itself, sodden and beaten, from the river. Together, they watched laughing and waving (a little spitefully, plink would later admit) to the troll as it hobbled off into the distance and was chastised by the forest every few feet of the way.


At 6:36 pm, Blogger L B said...

Huh, this is the fourth part of Lord Of The Rings? What happened to Froddo?!! :-)

At 6:53 pm, Blogger plink said...

Trolls, wei. Trolls!!
Try looking at 'tRead Carefully...!' The last entry is an index page for this Korean/Chinese/Cerekerama serial. More yet to come!
Wah, if I can write Lord of the Rings, then can goyang kaki/shake leg oredi worrr....
Eh, 'Frodo' makes a guest appearance in Ep.16: The Beach as Love.... teehee!

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